Bookstores #4, #5, & #6

     Independent Bookstore Day marches on here in the Seattle area!  I've been spreading out the joy across my week.  On Monday evening, I went with a friend & fellow bibliophile to visit a couple eastside gems.  First, we hit up the BookTree in Kirkland--a lovely, cozy, jumbled shop run by a retired couple & their charming canine companion.  I asked for some ghost stories as comps for my own project, & Christopher (one of the owners) enthusiastically let me to the horror section to perused with me, offering a great scope of knowledge.  He also read us one of his own poems, a fabulous treat!  In the end, I took home two of his suggestions.

Usually I save my spooky stories for October, but this year I'll be starting early!
    Next we moseyed over to Brick & Mortar bookstore in Redmond.  This has been one of my staples throughout the pandemic, as they've been more than happy to order anything they didn't carry in the store.  The staff are knowledgable, nerdy, & the shop has the feel of a sprightly library (if you can imagine such a thing).  At that point, I needed to get a little somethin'-somethin' for my spouse, so I picked up a book from his list & brought it home as a surprise.
If he likes it, I'll add it to my own list...which is about 70 titles long at this point.
    That brought me halfway to my goal.  On Wednesday, I persuaded my fabulous critique group to meet up in person (we're all vaccinated!!!) at Island Books in Mercer Island.  For people who live on Mercer Island, this bookstore is a beloved institution.  It's light on the sci-fi & fantasy, but extensive in the children's section & in their graphic novels.  Hence why I picked up this great piece:
Yes, THAT George Takei!
    For some reason, I really like getting my biographies & social equity literature in graphic novel format.  I think the art pulls my brain in deeper when usually, the painful topics would make me want to retreat, so I focus & empathize on a deeper level.  Anyway, once read this will sit next to "Good Talk" by Mira Jacob, "Persepolis" by Marjane Satrapi, & the "March" trilogy by the late Senator John Lewis, author Andrew Aydin & the artist Nate Powell.  I love that this section of my personal library is growing.
    That leaves me with four stores I need to hit if I want to make my goal!  I have some ideas, but we'll see where the weekend takes me.  I know I'll have fun no matter what!





Bookstores #2 & #3

     The purpose of Independent Bookstore Day isn't just to remind people that Jeff Bezos is evil to support their local businesses, it also shows just how many stores are still out there!  I confess I was surprised when I looked at the list of shops participating just in the greater Seattle area.  So often we hear about a bookstore closing; if you'd asked me to guess how many remained, I would have estimated around five.  Happily, I would have been waaaaay off--a discovery that inspires me to explore in the name of retail & literary expansion!

     Yesterday I ventured out to Edmonds to visit two bookstores with which I was previously unacquainted.  The town is located a couple cities north of Seattle, easily accessible by freeway.  Most Seattlites discover it when they need to take a ferry across Puget Sound into Kingston.  Then when they realize downtown is full of cute shops & one of the awesomest seasonal farmer's markets, they come back.

If its sounds charming, that's because it is.


    So my first stop was the Edmonds Bookshop, nestled right downtown.  Small, tidy, & consistently reminding people to please use the complimentary hand sanitizer before browsing, it had that "we know how to crowd our shelves without being disorganized" feel.  I found one book on my list, & one book that I used to own, purged in a move, & then regretted no longer owning.  Double success.

"Persuasion" has long been on my want-to-read list, as one of Jane Austen's lesser-known works.  And "The Checklist Manifest" is a great book for anyone wanting to cut down on mistakes in their professional life &/or business.

    Next, I left downtown for the tiny neighborhood of Perrinville.  In a quirky little nest of shops I found the Neverending Bookshop--but first I found a bakery called Mel & Mia's, where I fueled up on tea & chocolate pecan pastry.*  THEN into the bookstore!  As anticipated from the name, it focuses on fiction with an emphasis on the speculative genres.  The layout was airy, but felt dense with treasures.  My friend & I were the only visitors when we first arrived, so I chatted with the owner for quite a spell.  Her name is Annie & I do believe we are kindred spirits.  So rather than dig out my list of potential purchases, I described by current writing project & asked her to recommend a comp book.  

"Cemetery Boys" is a YA novel, & mine is definitely a book for adults, but from what Annie told me they definitely share core themes so I'm excited to read this!  I also bought a bunch of home-made stickers--here's one of them.

    I could have stayed longer, but the shop was soon to close & newcomers waited outside (Annie is wisely limiting the number of shoppers as COVID persists), so I left to allow other people the pleasure of visiting.  That was my Sunday, & it was a day well-spent.  I've already got my next outing planned for the 10-10-10 Bookstore Challenge, & I'm already looking forward to going back to Neverending Bookshop!  So I'd say Independent Bookstore Day is definitely serving its purpose.



*They have a full breakfast & lunch menu, & also serve afternoon tea.  Guess where I'm taking my Mum for Mother's Day?

Indie Bookstore #1

     Had to visit a bookstore ON Independent Bookstore Day, so I went to one of my favorites: Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park.  I was there for the midnight release of Harry Potter books 4 & 5.  That was also where I met my friend Michael Munz, doing a book signing for his hilarious Zeus Is Dead.  I've got a lot of fond memories of that place.  So even though I had to wait in line & had to limit my visit to under 30 minutes, I went with my Significant Other &...well...let's just say I bought more than the minimum single purchase.

Today's haul.  

    Nine days and nine more stores to go!

Independent Bookstore Day!

     I like to celebrate nontraditional holidays.  Natural events like the first day of spring are favorites, & it brings me joy to observe events promoting equity, like the International Day of Transgender Visibility & Juneteenth.  Random food holidays are a great excuse to cook.  National Enchilada Day falls on Cinco de Mayo.  National Surf & Turf Day only happens once every four years, on February 29th.  This year I even bought a National Holidays Calendar to broaden my options.

Here's May 1st, just to give you an example.

    But there's a biggie coming up this weekend that I've been really looking forward to: Independent Bookstore Day!  It always falls on the last Saturday of April.  Participating bookstores mark the occasion by throwing parties, or sales, or other kinds of events to raise awareness & draw in new customers.  In the past there have been challenges for book lovers, such as visiting every participating bookstore within so many miles.  Given the challenges of COVID-19, however, this year they're doing things a little differently in my neck of the woods.

    The challenge: ten bookstores in ten days, & a purchase at each store.*  Go alone.  Take your friends. Go on Tuesday, which is usually the slowest day for any business.  Or go virtually.  And blog & tag & read & chat & read & tweet & read & read & READ!

    If you live in the U.S., here's a hand-dandy map to help you find participating bookstores near you.  I already know where I'll be starting, I have a couple favorites I've been missing for awhile.**  But I'm also looking forward to discovering new stores--places I've wanted to visit, but somehow never found the time.  Kind of like making chicken cordon bleu...so delicious, yet I never make the time...unless it's National Chicken Cordon Bleu Day, which happened on April 4th.  Guess I'll have something else to look forward to next year.



*Yeah, that last part is going to be dangerously easy!  Don't tell my wallet!

**Ahh, Third Place Books...surely you didn't think I'd forgotten you?  And Brick & Mortar, we've only hung out online since the pandemic started, but you know I've just been waiting for an opportunity to get together!  And BookTree, it was so nice to run into you that one time!  I'm quite looking forward to getting to know you better.  

First Quarter Goal Update

     I know, I know, you're all wondering.  "Z.D., did you do it?  Did you meet your self-imposed deadline of completing your first draft by the first of April???"

    And the answer is: No.  Alas, I did not.  But I came damn close.


    How close?  On the last day of March, I had precisely three chapters left to write--the climax of the story & the immediate aftermath.  On the 31st, I knew there was no way I'd have the time to write all of that, so I used that day to write a detailed outline.  One good, long afternoon in a coffee shop* & the draft will be complete.  So I'm feeling Ok about the whole thing.  Had this been a hard deadline for an editor or agent, I would have taken the last week off of work to focus on writing & had time to spare.  Self-imposed deadlines can have a bit of flexibility, so long as the spirit of the venture is met.  Right?

    So on April 1st, the draft stood at 103k words, 40 chapters--but that's a rough draft.  There's nothing like spilling out a raw story to help one understand just how badly it needs refinement.  I've got tightening to do, some scenes to scrap entirely (don't be afraid to kill your darlings, my friends), & some theme clarification to polish throughout.  Ultimately I don't want this to be more than 90k words in length, preferably closer to 80k.  As a debut author, I can't risk an over-long manuscript.

Here are the goals for the second quarter of 2021:


    Today I still have the last two chapters to write, but that's been a deliberate choice.  Writing a climactic finale is something I do best when I have an uninterrupted chunk of time to focus; lucky me, I have a four day weekend, starting tomorrow.  The idea is to finish my rough draft by Friday night, then use Saturday to review, complete my chapter summary, & sketch out my current outline to help with revision later.  I already have a couple comp books waiting on my bedside table.  So keep cheering for me across the universe, folks!  New quarter means new set of goals, & a building wave of excitement!



*Not an option at this point in my pandemic life, but when you've done it often enough, "long afternoon in a coffee shop" becomes a measurement of time in the writing world.  Michael Munz would back me up on this. 

UPDATE: First Quarter Deadline

     You may recall from a couple posts back that I set myself a series of goals for this year around my writing.  The first goal?  Complete the first draft of my novel before the first of April.  I've been working on it literally every day, & I'm definitely in the final stretch.  

Here's my official update:

                Word Count: 90,562

                Chapters: 36

                Estimated Percent Complete: 84%

    To put that in context, the word count of my final draft will probably be quite close, or possibly even less, because when I revise there's a lot I will tighten or trim.  Final number of chapters is kind of irrelevant, but at the moment?  Based on what remains of my story outline, I'd say I have about 7 more chapters to write.  Hence the estimation of being 84% complete.

    Seven chapters in nine days.  That's...do-able.  I just hope I don't have any other plans this weekend.

Good thing I'm only aiming for a first, rough draft!


Z.D. Do You Still Exist?

     That's a very deep & philosophical question, hypothetical querent.  Did I ever really exist?  Do you?  As a cheerfully gullible person I'll just say "yes" to both of those.  But I understand what you mean: a year ago I said I was all-in for this blog once more, only to follow my usual pattern & fall silent.  Sorry about that.

    The explanation is also the same: time is precious, & what extra time I have has been going into my latest writing project.*  I even wrote out very concrete goals for 2021 (with some help from some awesome writing buddies).  Want to help hold me to task?  Here's the goal for the first quarter:

3-Month Goal(s)

Goals I aim to accomplish by March 31, 2021.

Desired Goal: To have a complete first draft of The Specter Street Book Emporium

How to Achieve: Writing for at least an hour a day, at least 5 days a week

What Success Looks Like: A complete manuscript with cohesive plot, beginning, middle, & end

 

Desired Goal: To have at least found resources/contacts to interview for each area where I need research

How to Achieve: Clarifying my research questions, taking initiative to ask

What Success Looks Like: Scheduled interviews on my calendar (or completed)


    Good stuff, right?  Concrete, reasonable, time specific--all the key features of good goal setting.  And I've been keeping to it!  I'd say I'm about 75% of the way done with my first draft.  All the same, I'm unsure whether or not I'll have a completed manuscript within the next 5.5 weeks.  If I do, it will be very, very rough, but I'm Ok with that.  Revision is both something I enjoy & something I do with relative speed.  It's a good thing I have the best writing coach ever snoring right next to me as I type....

Right now she's saying: "Why are you taking pictures of me?  You should be writing!  Or petting my fuzzy head!  Or both!"



*Well...that & watching "WandaVision," but that only gets updated on Fridays!  

"The Loveliest Person in the World...!"

      These days, delight has become a precious commodity.  The struggle between monotony & health risks can be exhausting.  When my instincts debate my logic, I prefer the debate to be internal, & I prefer the stakes to be no higher than whether or not to eat second brownie or maybe staying up past my bedtime.*  The constant slog of self-denial in the name of public health has to be the most boring way to take a stand every...but it is taking a stand!  A stand...


      For me, one of the best coping strategies has been actively seeking & embracing delight.  I got the idea from an episode of This American Life at the beginning of the year & I swear it has been a sanity saver.  More than that, it has opened me to little experiences I would normally say I don't have time for, including the best, most wonderful story time I have had since elementary school: Taika Waititi doing a celebrity reading of James & the Giant Peach.
      Full confession: I've never actually read the book.  I saw a children's play based on the book when I was a little kid & I remember thinking it was great.  But I only had a passing acquaintance with Roald Dahl's children's books through movies, I rather preferred his Unexpected Tales.  But Taika Waititi is, in himself, charming.  I don't care if he's playing a vampire, a pile of rocks, or a Hilter as an imaginary friend, the man is just lovely.  So when I saw that he had rounded up some celebrities to read James & the Giant Peach as a fundraiser, I was in! 
So far my favorite is the second episode, which does have Meryl Streep & Benedict Cumberbatch reading as Aunt Sponge & Aunt Spiker!
      The story is being read in six parts, the two final videos being released today.  It's a long weekend here in the U.S.  Some people will be flouting the social distancing restraints of the last couple months & going out to enjoy the spring.  Others (such as myself) will be staying in & trying to get as much fun & relaxation out of a restricted holiday as possible.**  And some people will be working, possibly for the first time in weeks.  Whatever your Memorial Day holiday is looking like, treat yourself to something whimsical.  Listen as Taika & friends bring this piece of children's fiction to life.  Your heart will glow, & you, too, may feel compelled to donate to Partners in Health.
      Stay safe, everyone!





*Do I live dangerously or what!

**We're setting up a tent in the living room, right in front of the fireplace.  We intend to roast marshmallows & "camp" all weekend long!

Baking Conchas!

      In an earlier post, I noted that I have a list of foods to make as research for my current writing project.  One of the new foods on my list to learn was Conchas: sweet Mexican rolls with a sugar crusted top, scored in a distinctive curving pattern meant to resemble a conch shell.  Classic conchas are flavored with vanilla, maybe chocolate in the sugar disk topping, & that's it.  I put a tiny twist on mine to be more spring-ish, & created Lavender Cardamom Chonchas.  And YUM!
      You will need lavender sugar to make these.  Sounds gourmet, right?  But it's just plain white granulated sugar that has been pulsed in a food processor with food-grade dried lavender.  This results in a superfine sugar powder with a gentle lavender aroma, & delicious lavender flavor.  How superfine?  The texture will be almost identical to powdered sugar.  I recommend a proportion of 1 teaspoon lavender to every 1/4 Cup of sugar.  (This is also a good way to use up those sugar cubes you've had sitting in your pantry forever.)

Combine in a food processor or clean spice grinder & pulse until soft & powdery.
    So these were delicious, & the recipe is long & complicated so no more preamble, let's get baking!
YOU WILL NEED: a stand mixer, other baking bowls, a whisk, a wooden spoon, parchment paper, & a digital kitchen scale.  Trust me.


Lavender Cardamom Conchas

Ingredients:
1 generous teaspoon active dry yeast (half of an envelope)
1/4 Cup warm whole milk
2 large eggs, room temperature
3 Tablespoons white granulated sugar
3/4 teaspoon kosher salt, generous, divided
1 & 1/2 Tablespoon nonfat dry milk powder
1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom
1 & 1/2 Cups bread flour, plus more for surface
5 Tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into small pieces (about 20)
1/2 Cup all-purpose flour, generous
1/3 Cup lavender sugar (see above)
1/4 teaspoon corn starch
1/4 Cup ghee (clarified butter)
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions: 

- In the bowl of your stand mixer, stir together the warm milk & yeast, & let sit for 10 minutes.  Meanwhile, select a small bowl & place it on your scale.  Tare the scale.  Crack your eggs into the bowl & whisk thoroughly until they are a uniform liquid, then use the scale the check the weight.  Take a second small bowl & pour out 1/4 of your eggs (it's easiest to measure this by weight, hence the scale!).
The small amount of egg will be what you use for your egg wash when you put the sugar topping on the conchas.  Cover & set in the fridge until you need it later.

- To the bowl with the remaining egg, measure in a generous 1/2 teaspoon of kosher salt (set aside the rest for the topping) & all of the plain granulated sugar.  Whisk together, then pour into the stand mixture with the yeast.  Sprinkle in the milk powder, cardamom, & the bread flour, then stir with a wooden spoon until a shaggy dough forms.

For some reason I just like the words "shaggy dough."
 - Place your bowl into the stand mixture fitted with a dough hook.  Turn on the mixer to medium speed and & beat until the dough comes together, about 2-3 minutes.  Turn the mixer speed up slightly & set a digital timer for 15 minutes.  Watching the timer, add in a small piece of your butter every 30 seconds.  The dough will slowly absorb the butter as you go, be patient.  You will finish adding all the butter before the 15 minutes is up, that's fine, let the dough continue to knead for the duration.


 - Cover the bowl tightly and allow to rise until doubled in volume.  In the refrigerator this will take at least 12 hours, at room temperature only 30-50 minutes.  (I compromised & used my garage, which is usually at some temperature in between during the spring, & my dough doubled in about 5 hours.  The time isn't really what matters, you want the dough to have doubled in size & smell like the yeasty, buttery concoction that it is!)  At this point, remove the cover and use your fingers to gently press & fold the dough to deflate entirely.

- Line a rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper.  In a medium bowl, use a hand mixer to beat together the all-purpose flour, lavender sugar, cornstarch, ghee, vanilla, & remaining salt, until you have a homogenous paste.  Using your scale, divide this topping into 6 equal pieces.  Transfer to a plate, cover loosely, & set aside.

Here's your crumbly paste.  Press it together...

...& you get these!  And lick your fingers afterwards, because yum!  (But then wash them before you continue, because obviously.)
 - Turn out your dough onto a clean work surface.  Using your digital scale one more time (aren't you glad you have this thing?) divide the dough into 6 equal pieces.  Roll each piece into a ball & transfer to the prepared baking sheet, spaced evenly apart.


- Take out your remaining beaten egg, add a generous teaspoon of water, & then beat to combine.  Set egg wash aside.  Now you have all your pieces, it's time for the final assembly!

- Take a rectangular piece of parchment paper & fold it in half.  Unfold, & use a pencil to draw a circle in the center of one half, about 4" in diameter (I traced a saucer).  One at a time, take a piece of your sugar topping & place it in the middle of this circle, then fold the parchment paper over & push it out into an even 4" circle. 

I used a spice jar as a rolling pin to create these sugar disks.
 - Peel off the parchment paper carefully.  Brush egg wash over one dough roll, then fold the sugar circle over & tuck the edges underneath.  Repeat with all remaining topping & rolls.

The sugar disks will fully cover the top & sides of your rolls--it's like tucking them under a blanket!
 - Place in a draft-free, warm space, & let conchas rise until doubled in size, another 1-2 hours.

- Position your rack in the middle of the oven & preheat to 325º F. While the oven is pre-heating, use a small, sharp knife to gently score the top of each roll with the conchas pattern--this is done by making crescent lines from left to right, then top to bottom.  You just want to cut into the dough, just score the topping.

- Bake until the visible dough is golden brown & the sugar topping is just every so slightly darkened, 20-28 minutes.  Allow to cool on baking sheet, then transfer to a wire rack and cool completely.  Once fully cooled, conchas can be placed in an airtight container & saved for three days--but they are DEFINITELY best the first day.


      Because of the long baking time, I made these the day before I wanted to eat them.  I started in the morning, ate dinner while they were going through their final rise, & then popped them onto the cooling rack just before bed.  The next morning, they were perfection.  I partner & I enjoyed them with bacon, herb omelettes & fresh coffee.  And when COVID-19 finally takes a hiatus, I plan to make them again for a belated Mother's Day brunch.  I highly recommend you do the same!







Pierogi

     So what do pierogi have to do with a ghost story?  One of the themes of my novel is culture, & how it evolves through immigration, often with pieces being lost.  When we lose the stories & memories of our families, it's a kind of little death. Tiny traces get left behind, disconnected--a grungy heirloom here, a recipe there--and they can linger like family ghosts.
      Of course, my novel also includes REAL ghosts...more on that in future posts.  But for now: Polish comfort food!
      I have no Polish ancestry of which I am aware* but as far as I'm concerned, dumplings belong to everyone.  I don't care if it's gyoza or piroshki, samosa or pasties, give me a savory filling wrapped in some kind of dough & I am a fan.  So I was happy to try making pierogi for the first time!

Emphasis on the "try."  Although they look pretty good, eh?

     They turned out Ok, but I have a feeling I have a long way to go.  The dough was the toughest I've ever worked with, so it came out thick & a little dense--although thankfully not as tough as I feared.  I filled them with a mixture of caramelized onion, braised cabbage, & potato, which turned out tasty.  But next time I will definitely add bacon (the only reason I didn't this time was because we served them alongside homemade corned beef).  I had just enough filling for all my dough & they boiled up without leaking. The brown butter fry at the end was delicious.  I have about a dozen left in my freezer & I am looking forward to eat them later!
      Here's the recipe I used:

Pierogi

Ingredients: 
1 large egg
5 oz whole milk
3 Tablespoons sour cream (full fat)
1 teaspoon kosher salt

...oh my gods, I just figured out how I messed up the dough.  *face palm*  Ok, actually I was halving a larger recipe, which called for 4 cups of flour.  I should have only put in 2.  I think I put in 3.5 cups of ap flour total.
Hey, you don't know what you don't know!  I didn't know that when I thought to myself: "Wow, this looks really try & floury" I was totally, 100% right!
      LOL!  Ok then!  Well, the good news is, you can totally over-do it on the flour & these will still come out pretty decent!  But I'm going to stop there rather than continue sharing my recipe since I didn't actually follow it.  When I take my second shot at these, I'll share that instead.
      In the meantime, I also made my first batch of cookies in search of the perfect cookie for my novel, I went with Salty Buckwheat Chocolate Chunk Cookies from Bon Appetit.  These were darn good cookies, I am happily eating my way through them (I also halved this recipe & they turned out fine).  But they aren't everything I need for the cookies in my story, so oh darn!  I have to keep experimenting with cookies!
     In the meantime: Conchas for Easter!



*No, I'm not interested in having my DNA tested.

Festive Suggestions for the Halloween Spirited

      Just in case you haven't heard, I am a Halloween *fanatic.*  It is my favorite holiday.  Which is bizarre, because I am a total wimp when it comes to scary movies & haunted theme parks.  I even get squeamish at the idea of the old children's game, "Bloody Mary."  Yeah--I am that kind of wimp.

I am not a wimp about spiders, though.  Unless they're huge.  And in my bathtub.
      But I have plenty of decorations put up, "Sweeny Todd" to sing along to, & creepy boardgames to play. And more than that, this year I put together the itinerary for the Perfect October Day for anyone who lives in western Washington.*  So if you're looking for something different to do this weekend--or if you have friends coming from out of town & you want to show them a great time--here's my recommendations.

Destination: Port Townsend
      This little berg is out on the Olympic peninsula. It's one of my favorite day trips in the state & getting there is half the fun.  Here's my itinerary:

9:35am - Catch the ferry from Edmonds to Kingston.  Depending on where you are, this might mean getting up early, or giving you time to sleep in a little bit.  Either way, if there's a Top Pot on your route, stop for a pumpkin old fashioned doughnut and a cup of coffee to enjoy while waiting at the ferry dock.

      It's about a 30 minute crossing, & then you head west & north.  As you drive, set the mood with a creepy podcast: I suggest any of the Spooked episodes, or my current obsession, Lore.  Your route will take you through Port Gamble, a charming town so tiny you could miss it if you didn't have SLOW WAY THE F*** DOWN to make that hairpin turn through the middle.  It's one of the most haunted places on the West Coast, so if you feel like stopping & poking around, by all means, do!  Just make sure you get to...

11am - Farms Reach Cafe, Chimicum.  Small, casual, & homey-delicious food awaits you here.  I took the recommendation of a regular & had the beef stew with a buttermilk biscuit for lunch.  My belly was soooo happy.  I wanted to stay & try some of their amazing looking cookies with a cup of tea, but I knew I had to leave room for the next stop, which was only three blocks away.

12pm - Finnriver Cidery, Chimicum.  Ohhh, ho hooo...& you thought you knew hard cider!  Boy, were you wrong!  Go straight into the tasting room & treat yourself to a guided tasting.  Then beg to taste whatever's on tap that you haven't tried yet.  Then order a glass of something & stroll around the farm, enjoying the gorgeous scenery.  Then buy a couple bottles to take home.  The brandy wines make excellent holiday gifts!
What I have from them in my fridge at this moment.  See that one second from the right?  That's Salal Berry & Cedar hard apple cider!  It doesn't get more Pacific Northwest than that!
No, Finnriver is not paying me to advertise.  But if they happen to see this & want to thank me with some free cider...I mean I wouldn't say "no."

Whenever you're sober enough to drive the last 30 minutes - Port Townsend.  There's so much to do here.  The Mt Townsend Creamery is off to your right before you descend the hill to downtown.  Or if you've a sweet tooth, Elevated Ice Cream is really, really good--& they sell it by the ounce instead of the scoop!  I've never gotten a bad coffee drink anywhere in town.  All the shops are cool, there's great local art, & some quality steampunk attire is available as well.  Check out every nook & cranny--including the antique mall--but be sure you're at the Haller Fountain on time for...

4:15pm - Twisted History Tour, Port Townsend.  Every boom town has it's history...most of which it would probably prefer to forget.  The Twisted History Tours of Port Townsend bring those stories back from the grave, & you will never look at the town the same again.  If you like macabre history, I recommend the Uptown Haunts.  If you like a little more ghost story in your history lessons, try the Downtown Dare.  Wear good walking shoes & a warm raincoat--& let the tales of dead liven up your evening!
The fanciest house in town was built by the undertaker.  Enough said.
      You'll wrap up around 6pm.  Depending on how you're feeling, you may decide to dine in town & take a late ferry back.  But if you want to keep the good times going, I suggest you grab a coffee to go & head back now.  If you live around Seattle or Bellevue, Mox Boarding House is your next destination.  If that's out of your way, plan ahead & order your favorite food for delivery, because it's game on.

Conclude your evening with a board game.  For a crowd, try One Night Ultimate Werewolf--an easy party game with short rounds & an app that practically walks you through it.  For smaller groups, try the goofy Betrayal at House on the Hill, the eldritch themed Mansions of Madness, the ghostly Mysterium (my favorite for Halloween), or any of the Zombicide games (we like Black Plague).  These will keep you up until the wee hours of the morning, steeped in eerie fun of the season.  And the next morning...another Top Pot doughnut, because those pumpkin old fashioned's are only around for a short time!




* If you don't live in western Washington, most of these activities are still available to you--you'll just have to research local substitutions for the rest.  Or come visit.  Either way.

Banned Book Week

      Ok, I know I said my next post was going to be all geeking-out over nerd stuff, but then...well...when you're not really plugged into social media, you find out about stuff in the most interesting ways.  For example: I found out that today is the last day of National Banned Book Week by going to a farmers market.

Check out these bad-ass rebels!  Library board VOLUNTEERS!  Spreading dangerous notions in a public space like a farmers market, in plain sight of children!*
      I also bought Pearwood scented olive oil soap & a bunch of the most beautiful kale I've ever seen, but that's not the point of this story.  The point of this story is banned books.  The very words have an interesting double effect on me.  On the one hand, it brings to mind scenes of movies where books are burned in village squares, which always make me cry.  No, really--scenes in movies where books are thrown on a bonfire make tears run down my cheeks.  My heart hurts to see it.  I have yet to watch a screen adaptation of Farenheit 451, but if I do, I'm sure I'll through an entire box of tissue.
      On the other hand, thinking of banned books raises this delightfully devilish feeling in me.  It makes me want to be all rebellious and go read!  Naughty books, shocking books, historically accurate books, I want to fling myself through the library doors & shout, "Come, you collections of the printed word, hit me with your best shot!  Corrupt my fragile mind!  Plant dangerous notions in my mind!  Make me question the status quo, and doubt the morals of my ancestors!"
      I realize that sounds pretty damn dramatic, but you have to consider how many books I've read that have been banned in one place or another:

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
Harry Potter & fill in the blank by J.K. Rowling
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

      Those are just the ones I could think of off the top of my head without looking at a list online.  Oh, wait, I'm sure Animal Farm and Catcher In The Rye were banned.  And probably The Diary of Anne Frank.  And Lady Chatterley's Lover, right?  I can keep going but it would take me all day.
I feel like if I ever wrote a book that was thought-provoking enough to get banned, I would feel tremendous pride.  Next best thing to winning a Pulitzer, honestly.
      The point is...I'm still waiting to turn into a danger to society.  When are these books going to deliver on their promises & make me an extremist rebel of some kind?!  I mean, at some point, I'm supposed to put down the mug of tea, get up out of my reading chair, & go explode something, or start an underground group of some sort, right?  So far all I've done is go to peaceful protest marches & do my research before I vote.  Oh yeah, & then I vote.  That's not radical, is it?
      I keep wanting to read more.  I suppose that's pretty radical in & of itself.  What's your favorite banned book?  I need some recommendations for after I go read The Handmaid's Tale.
      I think I'm going to make a point of buying a banned book for everyone in my family for their birthday next year.  Ok, now I'm feeling rebellious.


*Also, when the heck did A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein become banned?  Isn't there a poem in there about making a hippopotamus sandwich?

Next Steps...Stepped.

      Just a quick update to say that I sent in my queries and requested pages to the agents from the PNWA conference.  This last week was all about scrupulously reading their requirements & composing my letters.  Oh yeah, and writing my synopsis.*  We all know how much I love writing a synopsis.  Even after checking & re-checking my work to be sure I was following each agent's guidelines, I got a little more light-headed each time I hit "send."  Once it's sent, it's...sent.  No going back.  No more opportunities to tweak or correct.
      So obviously that called for a cup of tea.  Today it's a spicy chai I let steep for 5 minutes, then stirred in an ounce of bourbon.  Some days just call for that sort of thing.  And after all, today is the first day of autumn--time to celebrate!

Today's beverage and this month's bedtime reading.
      Nerdy stuff coming next week--I'm loving the Captain Marvel trailer and the latest space discoveries!


*MAJOR shout-out to my man Michael Munz for reading over my synopsis, and my crit group for reading my cover letters.  You all get dibs on my kidneys.  Er...first come first served.

The Myriad Benefits of a Proper Cup of Tea

      Hello world!  I still live!  I hope you forgive my long hiatus--I decided that if I was ever going to have a shot at publishing one of my stories, I needed to eschew ALL my other keyboard-related distractions, and practice the BIC (Butt In Chair) approach to writing.  And it worked!  I finally have a polished final draft of my gas lamp novel, coming in at 90k words.

My cat was very supportive of my BIC approach, as you can see.
      Last week I went to the Pacific Northwest Writers Association's big annual conference & pitched to multiple agents.  I am pleased to report that I got three requests for material, & one referral to another agent who was not at the conference.  The only part more awesome than that was all the seriously cool writers I met!
      Preparing for the conference was pretty draining.  Pitching was an exercise in adrenaline.  Both reminded me of the critical role that tea plays in my life.  Tea was my pick-me-up & inspiration while writing.  After pitching my adrenaline dipped, leaving me light-headed, and tea came to the rescue once again.*  So out of gratitude to the leaf & as a means of easing back into my blog, I thought I'd offer a brief review of the proper way to brew tea.
      Let's start with a definition of "tea."  A lot of people think this includes herbal teas, such as chamomile or mint.  Common vernacular aside, these are NOT teas.  They are tisanes.  They can be delicious, & all you have to do is add hot water & steep to taste.  I like to steep my mint in near boiling water for about 5 minutes, then toss in an ice cube for cooling & dilution.  That's all I'm going to say on the matter.
      There is actually a shrub called a tea tree, & it has a leaf all it's own.  When that leaf is harvested, dried, & then steeped, THAT is tea.  That's what I intend to address, starting with 5 general guidelines, followed by steeping times by variety.
A mature tea shrub.
1) Firstly, if you don't like the taste of your tap water, use distilled water.  It's cheap, & it's all my cat will drink, so I have a jug of it on hand at all times.

2) Proportion is always one generous teaspoon of tea to 8 ounces of water.  A tea bag also wants 8 ounces of hot water.  If you get a grande cup of hot water & toss in one tea bag, thinking you'll just let it steep longer, you've just signed yourself up for a weak, bitter brew.

3) If you're using loose leaf tea instead of bags (lovely when convenient), then have a good strainer.  There's a lot of these on the market.  I prefer metal strainers with a fine mesh & plenty of room for the tea leaves to expand.  Alternatively, brew loosely in a pot, then place the strainer over your cup when you pour.
A *few* of my tea things: pots, cups, strainers, etc. The big mug in the upper left reads "I Drink the Tears of my Enemies."  It's for when I'm feeling feisty!
4) Warm your cup or pot before pouring in the water.  If your vessel is cold, it will suck the heat away from your water, messing with your steeping & leaving you with lukewarm tea (bleah).  Also, in very extreme cases, boiling water added to cold porcelain creates cracks, or even explosions.  So while your water is coming to a boil, just fill your vessel of choice with hot water from the tap & let it sit until you're ready to steep.

5) Teas are graded by the size of the leaves.  A really good, high quality tea will be a full leaf, either rolled up into little balls or dried up into what looks like wrinkled pine needles.  Some teas have leaves broken in half, or into smaller pieces, or even in minuscule flakes like ground black pepper.  And yes, some teas are powdered.  Unless you're very serious about your tea, any of these grades will do--what you want to avoid at all costs is a MIXED grade.  A tea that's a tossed salad of full leaves, broken leaves, & tiny bits will have a bitter flavor.  When buying loose leaf tea, look for consistency among the size & shape of the leaves.
My tea shelf this morning.  I'm running low.  The tupperware in the upper right holds Korean roasted corn tea, a treat introduced to me by my significant other.
Steeping Guide
Over-brewed tea is bitter, so pay attention!

Black Teas
     There are a lot of black teas out there, but the general rule for steeping is the same.  My favorite teas are Lapsang Souchong, Earl Grey, & pure Assam.  Bring your water just to the edge of a boil (NOT a full boil), pour over, & steep for at least three minutes, but not more than five.  Then remove the leaves & either toss them or set them aside for a second steeping.
      Most black teas can be steeped a second time.  Again, bring the water just to the edge of a boil, then pour over the leaves & let steep for two minutes longer than your first steep.  The flavor will be different--more mild, usually--but still satisfying.** 

Oolong Teas
      An oolong is a tea that has been cured longer than a green, but less than a black.  When properly brewed it will have a smoother flavor than a green tea.  My favorite is hands down Iron Goddess, but I've never met a full leaf oolong I didn't like.  As with black tea, bring your water to the edge of a boil, but NOT to a full boil.  Steep for two minutes on the nose.
      Oolongs can be steeped a second, & sometimes even a third time with excellent flavor.  Let brew for three minutes on your second steep, four minutes for the third.

Green Teas
      Lauded as possibly the healthiest form of tea, the flavors can vary greatly depending on the blend.  A straight up gun powder green can be very bright--even grassy tasting.  My favorite is Gen Mai Cha, a Japanese blend that incorporates toasted rice (be wary when selecting, as this often has mixed grade leaves).  Bring your water to a strong simmer, but don't let it bridge over into boiling.  I like to steep for one minute & twenty seconds, to bring out the full flavor of the tea without risking bitterness.  My Significant Other, however, was taught to brew tea by his Korean grandmother, & insists on brewing his for five minutes for a strong, potent brew.  I suggest starting with a minute twenty, tasting, then adding more time if desired.
      Quality green teas can be re-steeped up to four times.  I would add an additional thirty seconds of brew time for the second steeping, & then a full minute or more for the third or fourth steeps.

White Teas
      Using some of the most delicate tea leaves & just drying them to perfection, white tea offers the most ethereal flavor of all.  My favorite here is Silver Cloud, light & sweet!.  For this, bring your water to a simmer, & steep for only 50 seconds.  Taste--if it's too light for you, put the leaves back in for 10 second increments until you have the flavor you like.  Remember, this is SUPPOSED to be a delicate tea.  Over-steeping will become very bitter, very fast.
      White teas can be re-steeped up to four times.  Add only 20 seconds of additional brew time for each steeping.

      There you have it!  Now go forth & brew!  Let me know if you have questions, or tell me about a recent tea you discovered, & whether you enjoyed it or no.


*My first instinct was to go to the hotel bar for a gin & tonic, but then my training as a therapist kicked in, & I remembered that in a few more minutes I was going to feel woozy & tired without the help of intoxicating beverages.  So I went for a cup of earl grey and boy was THAT the right call!

**Second steepings of any tea have almost no caffeine.

Z.D.'s Choice

      Due to a variety of complex circumstances, I have been living without my books for over a year.  None of my reference books.  None of my classics.  None of my favorite reads.  None of my cookbooks!  It has been a painful separation, the only silver lining of which is that I have re-familiarized myself with my fabulous local library system.  But there were literally nights when I would lie in bed & fantasize about being reunited with my personal library.
      Two weeks ago the dream was realized.  As is often the case, however, the reality was significantly different from the vision.  Specifically: due to circumstances outside of my control, I regained my books, but not my bookcase.

Do NOT leave home without it!!!
      You wouldn't think that's a big deal until you realize you a) have very little free cash with which to purchase a new bookcase, & b) don't have a means transporting one, anyway.  My preference is always to buy a sturdy piece of used furniture from Craigslist or a thrift store--but that required renting a truck, and when you're strapped for cash...yeah.  So after a week of pulling my hair & gnashing my teeth, I resigned myself to purchasing a new bookcase & assembling it.*  The price was right.  It even matches my other furniture, at least in color.  But it is significantly smaller than my previous shelving unit.
      So then, it came down to Z.D.'s Choice: which books do I purge?
      Aaaaauuuuugh, the agony of it!  Have you ever had to do this?  It's HARD!  I'd already gotten rid of some clothes & some kitchen stuff** & several knick-knacks of fair emotional value.  But now I had to pass on several members of my beloved literary family.  I could feel my heart chipping away with every selection.
Confession: I cry a little at the book burning scene in "Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade."  Every time.
      My only consolation was the psychological insight of it.  What I chose to keep gave me a deeper understanding of self.  Obviously the first to go were books I'd gotten on a whim or been gifted & enjoyed, but knew I would never read again.  Next came the handful that were falling apart--I figured if I find myself missing them, I can put them on my birthday list when I have more space.  Then it got harder.  I purged all of my coffee table books on the rationale that I don't have a coffee table.  I distracted myself by purging essentially all of my DVD's.
      Then I had to get down to it.  I wound up getting rid of a lot of my popular fiction, even though they were books I deeply enjoyed, because I know other people who copies I can borrow if I really want to re-read them.  Similarly, I passed on a number of books I know I can always find at the library.
      What I found myself keeping were rare books & classical literature: a selection of Japanese ghost stories given to me by an exchange student; a translation of Gilgamesh; a book of poetry written in opposition to the Iraq war.  I also found myself keeping a number of nonfiction books that have profoundly changed my perspective on the world: The Coming Plague by Laurie Garrett; How Does it Feel to Be a Problem, by Moustafa Bayoumi.  And what I realized was that I was keeping the books that promote the best in myself.  Which is a nice thing, really, to have such physical evidence of how I want to grow.  It birthed a rosebud of peace amid the thorns of my grief.
      Of course...I still have two copies of the complete Harry Potter series: one of hardcover books I got at the midnight release parties, then the paperbacks that I actually read.  You can translate that piece of my personality however you want.
Judge not, lest ye be judged, nerd.
      So...if it came down to it, do you know what you'd keep?



*Now I've assembled my own furniture on multiple occasions with perfect success, but this time I had generous help from a fabulous friend.  You know who you are, & this is a mad shout-out to your awesomeness!

**ME!  Getting rid of kitchen stuff!!!!  I think I just saw a Pot Belly sow soar gracefully past the Space Needle.

Four Fantastic Fiction Writers & the Finger Foods they Munch

      So, have I been true to my post from (over) a month ago, & been writing?  A bit.  Not as much as I would have liked, because June has been insane.  But it's been insane in a very good way.  Specifically, because I've been working towards...

...my first published work!
      Yeah, that's right, check out the authors on that thing!  See the first name?  Notice that it's MINE???  Four Fantastical Ways to Lose Your Fingers is a speculative short story collection compiled by some of the Seattle area's finest, & lucky me, I got in on that action.*
      Four Fantastical Ways to Lose Your Fingers is now available as a Kindle exclusive!  It weaves tales of Seattle superheroes, haunted bookstores, cats who are every bit as supernatural as you've always suspected, & Greek Gods with laser guns.  So guess what?  I recommend you buy the book!  :-D
      *ahem*  Yeah, I am neither versed in the ways of emojis, nor this whole self-promotion/advertising thing.  I'm new at this.  But authors Michael Munz, Tiffany Pitts, & Janine Southard are all pros, & not only are they talented story tellers, they are also really, really nice people who have been both patient & encouraging as I've stumbled through this whole process of turning a story into a published thing.  They came up with the brilliant of idea** of doing a blog tour, in which we answer questions on one another's blogs.  Of course the questions had finger-related themes, & of course mine had to be about food.  Because...you know...food.

I asked: 
What's your relationship to food when it comes to writing? If you snack when working on stories, what's your favorite finger food while writing?
It's me!  
Or rather, as much of me as I care to show online!
My Answer:
      Tea & graham crackers.  Why?  Because a lot of my stories are set in the Victorian-era (not the one in FFWTLYF, though), & nothing sets the mood like sipping tea from a china cup & nibbling pastry.  But too much pastry is neither good for one's health nor one's budget.  So I compromise with graham crackers, which I can truss up by spreading with peanut butter, or Nutella, or mascarpone with a drizzle of raw honey or pinch of cinnamon.
      Of course, if I was really going all out (& had a significant amount of time to prepare), I might go for a full-on afternoon tea.  For me, this would include freshly baked scones with butter & preserves, some manner of savory, such as a finger sandwich (no, really), fresh fruit, & then a small dessert like a tartlet or brownie.  And don't tell me brownies aren't sophisticated enough for afternoon tea, because they're bloody delicious--especially mine!

*

Janine A. Southard
Janine's Answer:
I do most of my drafting work in coffee shops. So my food relationship when it comes to writing it:one pasty and one (maybe two) mochas per writing day.

If I've gotten carried away with my work too many days running, I don't even get a real dinner later unless I eat out because I rarely bother to stock my kitchen when my mind is in a fictional world.

During the editing part of the process, though, I get to show off how awesome my spouse is. When I get to the final draft, I'll reach a point where I just want to be done and get through all the notes from the editor. I lie on my couch at home, stabbing the computer keys and vaguely listening to a Pandora station in the background as the sky gets darker and darker. Suddenly a bowl of soup will appear next to me. Homemade. (My SE usually goes for the Chinese Beef Soup with bok chow which you can try here!) You know your spouse loves you when healthy soup magically arrives whenever you're working at your computer. Much <3 to the one I marries.  **waves**

Janine A. Southard once once cut her hand on a mirror liek woah, though she didn't lose a finger that way.  (She did spend a year mostly unable to use her right hand for other medical reasons, thanks to which she now excels at opening doors left handed and taking notes on her phone.) She writes speculative fiction from coffee shops in Seattle, WA. Find Janine on Twitter, Goodreads, and JanineSouthard.com!
Author of the Ippy award-winning DF novel Queen & Commander on Amazon.com, Kobo, iTunes, Barnes & Noble

*

Michael G. Munz

Michael's Answer:
I drink when I write--by which I mean coffee, by which I mean espresso, by which I mean some sort of latte or mocha, by which I mean that's pretty much it but now I'm trying to figure out how many "by which I mean" clauses I can cram into a single sentence. I've actually tried drinking-drinking, by which I mean (Hah! You can't stop me!) hard cider a few times while writing, but that's not usually productive, with the possible exception of when I wrote the part of Zeus is Dead with Dionysus, the god of wine & revelry.

Okay, full disclosure: I was completely sober when I wrote those parts, but wouldn’t it have made a great anecdote if I hadn’t been?

As for food, well, I’ve found I can’t write very well when food is involved. There was a café I used to write in that also served some fantastic panini sandwiches, so on occasion I’d order one. Nine times out of ten, that resulted in being too distracted by eating to get my hands on the keyboard. Even when I was finished eating, all half the blood in my brain had gone to my stomach to work on digestion, so the resulting creative thoughts were about as useful as saying that “I have the best words.”

An award-winning writer of fantasy & sci-fi, Michael G. Munz possesses what "normal" people would likely deem far too much familiarity with a wide range of geek culture, although he prefers the term Geek-Bard: Jack of all Geek-Trades, but Master of None.  Or mostly none.  There are exceptions.  He dwells in Seattle where he works on his latest novel & jealously guards all of his remaining fingers.  Find him on Twitter, Facebook, & MichaelGMunz.com.

*

Tiffany Pitts

Tiffany's Answer:
The only food I keep at my desk is a jar full of dog cookies.
For the first 15 years of my adult life, I worked in a lab. If you’ve ever worked in a wet science lab (chemistry, micro- or molecular biology –stuff like that) you will be familiar with the idea that food and workspaces don’t mix. I haven’t been in a lab since 2012 but old habits die hard and I still don’t snack at my desk. There’s just something scandalous about it in my mind. Like the neighbor is going to stop by and write me up for having pretzels in my office. I don’t even like eating lunch there (although my dog is very keen on it).
Really, I couldn’t if I wanted to. My desk is covered with stuff. I don’t know how that happens. But adding a few plates here and there really doesn’t work. And I can’t put a plate of snacks on the floor because Thor calls dibs on everything at knee height or lower.
So, while I’m at my desk, I’m usually just drinking coffee. It’s not until about 2 or 3 in the afternoon where the food really comes in.
When I was a bench scientist I worked with a bunch of people that genuinely liked being in a science lab. They were curious people that liked doing random stuff along with all our regular work. We would do random chemistry experiments, like the type you’d find on science projects.com -elephant toothpaste, flaming gummy bears – stuff like that. The weirder the better.  It was so much fun.
I don’t have a group of friends to do that with now which makes me sad. To make up for that, I often find myself gravitate toward the kitchen in the late afternoon to ‘make something.’ Usually something easy like biscuits or tortillas. Sometimes, Nutella bread. Recently, my daughter’s best friend discovered she’s got a severe gluten intolerance so I’ve been testing out some gluten free recipes to see what that’s like. To everyone’s surprise, gluten-free Whoopee pies are super awesome. I highly recommend those.
A lot of the kids at school know my habits and I will often find a house full of hungry people at four o’clock. I encourage this behavior since then I won’t be tempted to eat all the stuff I bake.
I’m thinking of learning some vegan recipes next. We’ve got one friend who is vegan and she’s always having a hard time finding baked goodies. Maybe I could make a vegan whoopee pie.
Whoopee Pies (gluten Free)
2 c. Bob’s Red Mill Gluten-Free Baking Mix
1 ¼ tsp. baking soda
½ c Dutch-process cocoa powder
1 tsp salt
1 c light brown sugar
½ c softened unsalted butter
1 egg
½ tsp vanilla extract
1 c buttermilk

Filling:
½ c softened butter
1 ½ c confectioner’s sugar
2 c Marshmallow Fluff
1 ½ tsp vanilla extract

  1. Preheat over to 350F. Line cookie sheets with parchment.
  2. Sift together flour, baking soda, cocoa powder and salt in a medium bowl. Set aside.
  3. Cream butter and sugar on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add egg and vanilla extract. Mix until combined.
  4. Add the flour mixture and buttermilk alternatively in small amounts until fully incorporated.
  5. Using a cookie scoop, place 1-1/2 sized mounds about 2 inches apart on your lined cookie sheets. Bake for 12 minutes, rotating sheets at halfway mark. Allow cookies to cool for 5 minutes before transferring to a cooling rack.

For the filling:
  1. Cream together butter and confectioners’ sugar at medium speed until light and fluffy. Add marshmallow crème and vanilla. Beat until smooth.
  2. Spread 1-2 TBSP of filling across half of the cookies and sandwich the other half on top.
  3. You can then roll in sprinkles, wrap in paper or simply eat them standing over the sink.

Tiffany Pitts grew up in the PNW on a diet of cartoon, candy, and instant noodles. She is a former molecular biologist, and a former-former analytical chemist who has definitely never blown anything up on accident. Her latest novel, Wizzy Wig, won the 2016 Cygnus Award for Best Speculative Fiction. Connect with Tiffany on Twitter, Facebook, and TiffanyPitts.com.




Now you just need to pick what to eat while you read!  -Z.D.


*How, you ask?  It's kind of a random story.  I was hanging out with Camela Thompson & one of her fellow authors sent her a text suggesting a collaborative short story project with some of their other writer buds, & Camela was all over that.  In fact, she suggested Ten Fabulous Ways to Lose Your Fingers.  From where I was eavesdropping with a cup of tea on the other side of the table, I said, "Huh, I was just starting a novel with a character missing two fingers."  The wheels started turning. So the next thing I knew, I'd written a short story--something that's usually very hard for me to do.  And wouldn't you know it, THESE OTHER PUBLISHED WRITERS REALLY LIKED IT!

**A real one, not one where accidental amputation ensues.

Powered by Blogger.