I don't own a television.  That used to be more remarkable back before every film, TV show, & random home movie of a cat* was available online, but I also don't have Netflix, Xfinity, or an Amazon Prime membership.  In other words, I don't stream shows.  I live under a rock.

I would SO live under this rock if I could!

      Ok, obviously I don't live under a rock, my cat would never tolerate it.  Also obviously, I do watch movies & shows, because I am up to speed on "Game of Thrones," I'm addicted to "Last Week Tonight," & I never get tired of binge-watching old episodes of "Good Eats."  I also watch movies the old fashioned way, in theaters!  This is particularly great for awesome flicks like "Spiderman: Homecoming," when action just needs to be viewed on the big screen.  But most of my video consumption is thanks to the patience & support of friends & family.  And it seems like lately, I've been watching way more stuff than usual, so I figured it was time I voiced some opinions on my blog.  Starting with:

      You can thank my friend & fellow author Michael Munz for providing a weekly opportunity to hang out & watch each new installment of this...interesting season.  I had to binge watch seasons 1 & 2 before this one got started.  I was charmed by the character of Dale Cooper, thrilled with all the food references, & intrigued by the suspenseful supernatural elements.  I was very ready for season 3; I wanted to learn Cooper's fate, & see more of the charming small town that supposedly exists within an hour drive my home.  Plus I'd heard that Trent Reznor was going to make an appearance!
      Well...if you've been reading the reviews, or watching the show yourself, you know that it's...um...very David Lynch-ish.  Let's just say that we celebrate every time an episode actually has significant plot content.

Gotta hand it to the mayor of Portland, he's a flexible actor!

       I won't pretend to have a background in film or any training in how to assess what makes it good or bad, but it seems to me that director David Lynch has changed in the last 25 years; you can say "matured," or "evolved," but essentially he's done what all human beings do, & he's just changed.  Which is fine.  But in this case, I think that means a significant shift from the mentality that led to his original vision.  The first season of "Twin Peaks" was dark, & weird, & confusing in ways that "Lost" only wishes it could have mimicked.  But it was also charming, funny, & oddly relatable.  And unfortunately, that's what this season seems to have lost for me.
      I'm still watching it.  The plot has finally progressed enough that I'm decently curious to see what happens.  But I swear, if Cooper doesn't come back to his full state of mind by the end of the series...well, for Munz's sake, I'm going to try really hard not to throw a cherry pie at his television, but it's going to be an effort!

      When I first read Ernest Cline's "Ready Player One," I was utterly enchanted.  It was one of those books that scratched a specific itch in the most perfect way possible.  It was a love song to my generation: the first generation of the modern nerd.  Because back then, video games were weird, fantasy & sci-fi movies had hand-made special effects, & playing RPG's got you beat up.**  To have the nostalgia of 80's nerdom revitalized & revered in a near-future sci-fi story was nothing short of genius.  I have my concerns that this might have been a one-shot wonder for Ernest Cline, but who cares?  It was a freaking awesome book!!!
      So when I heard it was going to be made into a movie, I got really, really excited!
      Until I saw the trailer.
      Ok, first & foremost, The Stacks look perfect.  Second impression: that is NOT what Wade Watts is supposed to look like!  Any true nerd who read the original book can testify how much it meant that the main character was a rather over-weight teen with less than perfect hygiene--because so many of us WERE.  So to see a ruggedly handsome young man instead?  *sigh*  Way to miss the point.
     Then: there's a car race?  Where the hell did that come from?  And did I see a warrior riding a giant scorpion killing Freddy Kruger?!  Does canon mean NOTHING to you, Steven Spielberg?!!?  And finally I heard a vicious rumor that they took the Zork reference out of the movie....oh wait.  I'm sorry, do you not know what Zork is?  Darn, if only we lived in an age where you could access an essentially limitless database of both accurate & opinionated information on just about freaking everything so you could look that up!!!
      What I'm getting at is that it seems pretty obvious they went to a lot of pains to make the video game aspects of this movie more relatable to a younger generation.  Typical Hollywood move.  And what sucks is that in this case, it almost defeats the entire point.  I get it if you need to take Peeves out of the "Harry Potter" films to streamline the story.  In fact, I'm totally Ok if you modernize some of the language in Shakespeare so that more people can understand it--Will would have done the same.  But a central core of this book was the nostalgia factor, which catered to a specific audience...most of whom probably make bank in the tech industry now, so frankly, catering to them is a pretty safe bet.  And I suspect that a lot of them are feeling let down.

      So screens haven't been living up to my expectations lately.  Well, except for "Game of Thrones."  The only thing wrong with that is that somehow they've managed to make an hour feel like only lasts 20 minutes!  That, & the last episode did a great job of turning me off to chicken pot pie, one of my favorite comfort foods.  Maybe they'll do that with every episode, & this can be the new diet fad.



*This one is still my favorite, partially because of the adorable noises the kitten makes while eating, & partially because of the facial expression of the adult cat in the background.

**Maybe that's still true in certain parts of the country, but here in Seattle if you don't play a table-top RPG, you are only two degrees of separation from someone who does.  Two degrees max.

      So, have I been true to my post from (over) a month ago, & been writing?  A bit.  Not as much as I would have liked, because June has been insane.  But it's been insane in a very good way.  Specifically, because I've been working towards...

...my first published work!

      Yeah, that's right, check out the authors on that thing!  See the first name?  Notice that it's MINE???  Four Fantastical Ways to Lose Your Fingers is a speculative short story collection compiled by some of the Seattle area's finest, & lucky me, I got in on that action.*
      Four Fantastical Ways to Lose Your Fingers is now available as a Kindle exclusive!  It weaves tales of Seattle superheroes, haunted bookstores, cats who are every bit as supernatural as you've always suspected, & Greek Gods with laser guns.  So guess what?  I recommend you buy the book!  :-D
      *ahem*  Yeah, I am neither versed in the ways of emojis, nor this whole self-promotion/advertising thing.  I'm new at this.  But authors Michael Munz, Tiffany Pitts, & Janine Southard are all pros, & not only are they talented story tellers, they are also really, really nice people who have been both patient & encouraging as I've stumbled through this whole process of turning a story into a published thing.  They came up with the brilliant of idea** of doing a blog tour, in which we answer questions on one another's blogs.  Of course the questions had finger-related themes, & of course mine had to be about food.  Because...you know...food.

It's me!   Or rather, as much of me as I care to show online!

My Answer:
      Tea & graham crackers.  Why?  Because a lot of my stories are set in the Victorian-era (not the one in FFWTLYF, though), & nothing sets the mood like sipping tea from a china cup & nibbling pastry.  But too much pastry is neither good for one's health nor one's budget.  So I compromise with graham crackers, which I can truss up by spreading with peanut butter, or Nutella, or mascarpone with a drizzle of raw honey or pinch of cinnamon.
      Of course, if I was really going all out (& had a significant amount of time to prepare), I might go for a full-on afternoon tea.  For me, this would include freshly baked scones with butter & preserves, some manner of savory, such as a finger sandwich (no, really), fresh fruit, & then a small dessert like a tartlet or brownie.  And don't tell me brownies aren't sophisticated enough for afternoon tea, because they're bloody delicious--especially mine!

Janine's Answer:
I do most of my drafting work in coffee shops. So my food relationship when it comes to writing it:one pasty and one (maybe two) mochas per writing day.

If I've gotten carried away with my work too many days running, I don't even get a real dinner later unless I eat out because I rarely bother to stock my kitchen when my mind is in a fictional world.

During the editing part of the process, though, I get to show off how awesome my spouse is. When I get to the final draft, I'll reach a point where I just want to be done and get through all the notes from the editor. I lie on my couch at home, stabbing the computer keys and vaguely listening to a Pandora station in the background as the sky gets darker and darker. Suddenly a bowl of soup will appear next to me. Homemade. (My SE usually goes for the Chinese Beef Soup with bok chow which you can try here!) You know your spouse loves you when healthy soup magically arrives whenever you're working at your computer. Much <3 to the one I marries.  **waves**

Janine A. Southard once once cut her hand on a mirror liek woah, though she didn't lose a finger that way.  (She did spend a year mostly unable to use her right hand for other medical reasons, thanks to which she now excels at opening doors left handed and taking notes on her phone.) She writes speculative fiction from coffee shops in Seattle, WA. Find Janine on Twitter, Goodreads, and JanineSouthard.com!

Now you just need to pick what to eat while you read!  -Z.D.

*How, you ask?  It's kind of a random story.  I was hanging out with Camela Thompson & one of her fellow authors sent her a text suggesting a collaborative short story project with some of their other writer buds, & Camela was all over that.  In fact, she suggested Ten Fabulous Ways to Lose Your Fingers.  From where I was eavesdropping with a cup of tea on the other side of the table, I said, "Huh, I was just starting a novel with a character missing two fingers."  The wheels started turning. So the next thing I knew, I'd written a short story--something that's usually very hard for me to do.  And wouldn't you know it, THESE OTHER PUBLISHED WRITERS REALLY LIKED IT!

**A real one, not one where accidental amputation ensues.

      You've heard, right?  Wait, you haven't heard?  Or worse yet, you've heard, but you're not appreciating the unbelievable AWESOMENESS that is...

      ...the up-coming Dark Crystal Netflix series!!!!

      Ok, when you're done squeeing & jumping up & down you can keep reading.
      The first time I saw Jim Henson's The Dark Crystal, I was pretty young.  Young enough to be freaked out by EVERYTHING in it.  I was scared of the black beetle-like monsters that guarded the castle.  I was scared of the crystal bats.  I was scared of Fizzgig, because he had a big mouth & was loud.  But I was so intrigued by the beauty & the completeness of the world, I kept going back & watching it again & again.

I was afraid of Aughra, but that just showed that I was smart.  Only fools don't fear someone this wise & powerful...& able to remove her own eye while it still works.  Mad-Eye moody has nothing on this Sorceress.

      Eventually I stopped being scared.  Eventually I also got the movie on DVD, because my family's recorded-off-HBO-VHS tape was so dark, I missed a lot of scenery.*  But I've always loved it.
      There are some people who say that the special effects of the 1980's are outdated to the point of being laughable, but if anything I think the development of CGI make The Dark Crystal even more amazing.  Yes, it is amazing to take the time & skill to create art on a computer that transports us to places like Pandora or Middle Earth.  But everything - EVERYTHING - in The Dark Crystal was made by hand.  Every twig, every eyelash, every crack in the wall was made in a workshop, with physical tools.  And every movement was done through human action.  This is art, people.  This is mastery of a craft like nothing ever seen.
      Through the years there have been rumors that a second movie might be made, but I never let myself get my hopes up.  I was even worried that they might be true; if a sequel was made mostly on computer, a part of my heart would break forever.  I haven't looked into the plans for puppetry vs. digital effects for the Netflix series yet.  I'm going to let myself squee uncontrollably a little longer.


*I still remember the first time watching that DVD & going, "Holy Crow, check out those plants there!  And animals there!  And stuff on the wall!  HOW DID THIS JUST GET EVEN COOLER!?!!"
     

      Geek Girl Con is this weekend!  If you live in the Seattle area, and you're a geeky girl, your attendance is required, lest you lose your hard-earned geek cred.  And geek cred can be hard to come by as a female: we're under-represented as serious players in the sciences, in sci-fi and fantasy genres,  in action comics and movies, and in video games.  There are a number of reasons for this, many of which are socio-political and/or historical.  But those are in the past.  It's time for Khaleesi to round up the dragons, for Samus to suit up, and for Black Widow to get her own movie.
      Seriously, Marvel: Black Widow needs her own freaking movie.

Or else.

      But I digress.
      If you're still making up your mind about attending, check out the line-up of panels and activities.  If that doesn't persuade you, go see a doctor, because I think you might have head trauma.  Yours truly will be co-hosting the panel "Brainy Anime Babes Who Know More Science Than You" on Saturday, at 1:30pm, along with horror/thriller novelist Camela Thompson.  We'll discuss women in the sciences through the lens of my favorite pop culture media.  Art emulates life, after all.
      Aside from the awesome panels, it's hard to know what I'm looking forward to the most.  The kick-ass cosplay?  The unbelievable merch!?  The games??!  Honestly, it's something far less tangible: the feeling of community.  The best thing about going to a Con is this overwhelming sense of "Holy $#!t, I've found my clan."  It gives us all a sense of belonging, and permission to let our freak flags fly!  And every geek - and every girl - can benefit from a shot of confidence.

See you there.

      If you live in the U.S., and are acquainted with more than three people under the age of 40, you are probably aware of the Pokémon GO craze.  Or maybe not, because they've mysteriously disappeared, and aren't answering your calls or texts.  Now you know why: Pokémon GO.  It's a game on a smart phone.  And apparently, it turns people into zombies.

Borrowed from: http://crazzfiles.com/pokemon-for-a-brain-dead-culture-will-pokemon-go-be-used-to-catch-us-all/

      Ok, maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but not by much.

According to an article in The Washington Times, in the last few days a significant number of people have been playing Pokémon GO at the Holocaust Museum.  Which begs a lot of questions, more even more raised eyebrows.

      I'm not playing this game, because I've never been into Pokémon, and I don't own a smart phone.  (Waits for readers to recover from their faint of astonishment.)  But a number of my friends - and my therapy patients - are playing.  So I'm getting a contact buzz, so to speak.  I'm also getting emails from my agency directors specifically asking the therapists to get to the office early and catch the various critters in and around our building.
      Yes, that's right: a mental health therapy building has had strangers entering the lobby, trying to enter the rooms, and circling the building (which is posted with "no trespassing" signs) trying to catch imaginary critters on their phone. AND taking augmented reality photos of these spaces to show off which little goombas* they're catching.  This is pretty distressing for clients who have been, say, stalked in the past.  Or are seeking therapy without anybody knowing.  Or...fill in the blank.  In any event, I never thought I could get an official email at work instructing us to play video games for the sake of maintaining client confidentiality.  Then again, that's one of the reasons why I love being a psychotherapist: there's always something new.
      Nintendo has it's U.S. headquarters only a few miles away, in Redmond, WA.  I wonder how many Pokémon are wandering the halls in their building?  I vote we all take our phones there and find out!

Maybe there's a really awesome Pokémon gym in there!  Go, hoards of game zombies!  Go and swarm!

      Other news: today is National French Fry Day.  I've been debating long and hard over the best way to celebrate.  Steak cut?  Shoe string?  Curly fries?  Waffle cut?  If only I could catch 'em all!



*Yes, I know that goombas are from Mario Bros.  It's still Nintendo, and the it's a fun word.  So hush.

      This post requires a little backstory.  Not of the anime, but of why Camela and I sat down and binge-watched all 12 episodes of the first season last Saturday, when it was a gorgeous sunny day in Seattle.

From left to right: me, Her Royal Snugglepants Hairy Squirrel-Murder, and Camela. I'm opening a bar of Theo's chocolate, having already demolished a bowl of home-made guacamole and an entire bag of lentil chips, and Camela is almost done with her first bag of tarro chips.  Because we take research seriously.

      I wanted to update my presentation materials for Greek Girl Con.  Camela and I, along with her editor Patricia, will be doing a panel on "Brainy Anime Babes Who Know More Science Than You." I already did this at Ohayocon earlier this year, and there were a few tweaks I wanted to make, starting with adding more Brainy Babes to my list!  So I appealed - and continue to appeal - to all the anime fans I know to suggest characters to add. And my new friend Sean suggested I watch High School Of The Dead.  Camela elected to join me for a binge viewing. So with a few breaks and a lot of snacks, we took the plunge.
      Let me first say that Sean now owes me a boba tea. Because the "brainy babe" in this show didn't actually do anything remotely brainy (besides scream "I'm a genius" several, several times) until the FINAL FREAKING EPISODE!  So does she qualify for the presentation, or not? Now I have to watch Season Two.  sigh

Although we knew from the beginning who the Brainy Babe would be, because she's wearing glasses. This IS anime, people. Embrace the predictability.

      There were some things about it I really liked. The art was good for TV show, with a lot of the most contemporary styles affecting face shape, but with some throw backs in hair.* Camela confirmed that it followed a classic survival horror story pattern in terms of plot pacing and development. We both liked the way the zombies were portrayed, with the quick "turn time," and consistent details in physicality and behavior.  So points for the horror stuff.
      But add a face-palm or two for the number of panty shots.  Seriously.  Don't get me wrong, I am an anime fan, and that means I am happy to embrace a few skirt flares.  I know enough about Japanese culture to chuckle at the timing, and be amused by the irony that staring at a girl's crotch is just fine, but kissing is pornographic.** All the same, the number of PS's quickly reached "gratuitous" level for me.  I have a system for this, but that's a different blog post.  At least the boys reacted appropriately: there was no judgement, and no assumptions of inherent invitation.  If that were the attitude at college parties then campuses would be much safer places.
      The REAL issue that both Camela and I had with the series was the violence against women.  Not from the zombies, from the protagonist.  In the very first episode, our "hero" goes to tell his ex-girlfriend they need to evacuate the school, and when she gives him lip for interrupting her class, he slaps her.
      No, don't try to justify it.  It's wrong.  Period.

There was a Mythbusters episode about the efficacy of a slap in reversing cognitive impairment.  I'm too lazy to look it up.  Just Google it.

      Scientific research has shown that a slap can help interrupt hysteria and increase cognitive functioning when the brain is impaired by cold or fatigue.  But that was not what was going on here.  This was a male who wanted to get a female to do what he wanted, and he employed violence.  And this happened again between the same two characters later in the season, and then again between the same male protagonist and another female.  And the worst part?  After their initial shock, the girls simpered and acted grateful for him taking charge.
      So let me say it again: THIS IS WRONG.  This is where fiction gets it wrong.  That's assault, plain and simple.  It is ineffective, unethical, and illegal, and all for good reasons.  That is not taking charge and being a man, that is letting base instinct over-rule better judgement, and being a primal asshole.  Stories have power, and as vendors of fiction, both Camela and believe we have a duty.  So I'm calling out the creators of High School Of The Dead.  Get your pre-pubescent wanna-be macho heads out of your daydream space (aka "ass").  If you want your character to be a hero, then you need to rethink his approach.
      I will be on the lookout for this when I watch Season Two.  As it stands, I'm not sure I can honestly recommend this series to anybody, for that reason.  I won't take it lightly.  Nobody should take it lightly.  Because that's exactly the problem.
      And you thought this was going to be a light, amusing piece about anime zombies.  Yeah...so did I.




*If you know what I mean by that, then you and I should go out for drinks, my fellow Otaku.

**H.S.O.T.D. is a fabulous example of this, by the way. There's boob jiggles and panty shots galore, and in one episode even full upper-body nudity (which I wasn't expecting), but no kissing.  There's music and soft lighting and camera pans whenever somebody goes in for a kiss.  Japan is fascinating.

      Just in case you haven't heard about this yet, I wanted to share teh awesome.  Apparently, at a historical reenactment a few days ago in Russia (read: Ren Faire), some guy brought his drone to take some cool aerial footage.  He didn't seem to grasp the fact that this was a historical reenactment. People take this stuff very seriously, they go all out finding materials and tools for historically accurate costumes and props. So no surprise, people were pretty bent out of shape about the drone.
      So much so, one warrior decked out in full costume with shield and helmet chucked his spear at the thing.  And hit it.  And down, down, down it went.

      I want to buy that man a flagon of mead.
      Or whatever they drank in medieval Russia. I'm sure it'll put hair on my chest.
      In other news, tomorrow is National Buttermilk Biscuit Day here in the good ol' US of A. You can use my recipe if you want. Otherwise, I recommend Alton Brown's.  Just remember to serve them fresh and warm, with plenty of butter, honey, and/or gravy!

      It's a big year for Harry Potter fans.  Like, giving-the-Tri-Wizard-Tournament-another-shot big.  Because J.K. Rowling said in no uncertain terms that she was done writing Harry Potter novels.  So unless you've an appetite for fanfiction (a somewhat unreliable dish), the age of Harry Potter was over.

      Or so we thought.
      But this year we're getting everything from a movie, to a play, to a printed book (albeit not a novel--got that? NOT a novel!), all graced with the original author's pen.  So bust out your cosplay and burnish your nerd badges, folks, because it is GEEK OUT TIME!
      ...or not.
      I'll be honest: I'm scared.  I kind of feel like I need to find a Harry Potter Recovery Support Group to process some of this.  Because for me, the one thing worse than having a beloved canon come to a close is having it re-opened with disappointing results.  So let's take this one at a time.
      Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them was originally written by J.K. Rowling, and published as a slim hardcover book.  It was paired with another book of similar size, also written by Rowling, Quidditch Through the Ages, and sold as a fundraiser for the British-based charity, Comic Relief.  These were amusing, whimsical reads, and a delightful addition to any true Potter fan's bookshelf.*  The movie that's coming out November of this year seems only loosely related to the book, in that it relates an incident in the life of the book's fictional author, Newt Scamander.  From watching the trailer, I love that it takes place in the U.S. (I've always been curious about wizarding culture in other countries, plus Americans are ego-centric).  I love that it takes place in the 1920's (Prohibition, anyone?), and I love that they cast Eddie Redmayne as Scamander.
      But what if it sucks!?!!  I don't know if I can take it!!!  I think I might gnaw off my own limbs with disappointment if it sucks!!!!
      Then we've got Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, the play.  Based off of Rowling's own story of Harry Potter's adult life, changed into a stage play with her assistance, it's the official continuation of the Potterverse.  And if you haven't wondered "What the heck happened to everyone?" then your imagination needs some serious prodding.  I know I've wondered.  I've mused, I've pondered, I've surmised.  But I'm not actually sure I want to know.
      Because what if she messes up!!?!  What if she drops the ball, doesn't stay true to the characters, and takes it where it was never meant to go!!?!!?!
      And finally, we've got Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, the book.  Or, to be specific: the script.  Because this is not - NOT - a novel.  And if you've never done theater, or never been forced to read scripts in your English class, then the format is going to make you go, "Huh?"  And if you DID read scripts in your English class (Shakespeare comes to mind), you may recall being really, really bored.  Because scripts are not meant to be read like a novel.  Scripts are meant to be performed.
      So...do I want to read it?  Do I want to interpret, cast, direct, and act this all out in my head based on nothing but dialogue?  Then if I ever see it on stage, will I be disappointed?!  Will I basically be ruining it for myself if I get the script and read it first!?!  HOW DO I HANDLE THIS!?!!  I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!!
      I need to go to the hospital wing and get Calming Draught....



*Don't own them?  Don't call yourself a fan, poser!

      Now that I'm living back in the Pacific Northwest, I see a lot of man-made differences from when I lived in Ohio.  Fewer billboards, for example.  More boats, less guns.  I'm back in the land where every restaurant serves some kind of seafood chowder.  And - probably because of the tech population - I'm seeing a lot of Teslas.

When I get mine someday, it's going to be Tardis blue.

      How many qualifies as "a lot?"  I estimate I drive past about 5 a week.  And each time I turn into some bizarre variation of an early-20's dude-bro in the presence of an attractive woman, ogling the curves and trying to catch the driver's eye just so I can give an eloquent nod of "Wassup?"  I'm really not that much of a car person.  I am one of the patient who has learned to make appreciative noises when other people speak about cars so as not to seem rude, all the while letting my mind rove to more interesting topics, such as making blueberry pie.*  But I admit, when the Model S came out, I was sucked in.  So elegant.  So logical.  So quiet!  For the first time, I understood what people meant when they referred to a car as "sexy."
      Whenever I pass one on the road, a smile appears on my face.  So last week I thought, "Huh.  I should take this a step further!  I'm going to start putting $10 in a jar every time I drive past a Tesla.  It'll be the start of my own Tesla fund!"**  The idea put an even bigger smile on my face.
      Then I read this week's PostSecret, and this particular card caught my eye:
      Now, I've decided to start putting $10 in a jar every time I pass a Tesla on the road, and donate it to charity at the end of the month.  So this is your opportunity to put in a plug for your favorite charities, Dear Readers.  Let's make the air cleaner, to roads sexier, and the human race happier, all at the same time.


*April 28th is National Blueberry Pie Day, folks!

**Reality check: 5 cars a week x $10 means about 96 years before I could afford pay the $50k for a Tesla Model S.  So no, this was not going to be my ONLY means of saving!

      April 1st is National Soylent Green Day!
      I cracked up when I read that listed on one of my Food Holiday websites the other day.  But when I told some of my co-workers, they looked at me with blank expressions.  And of course since I had to explain it, it wasn't funny at all, and if anything they thought I was even more weird.

The movie is supposed to take place in 2022.  Go ahead and give it a viewing--the parts they got right will get you thinking.

         
 
      Why would I know about a mediocre Charlton Heston sci-fi film from 1973?  Because that's the sort of crowd in which I move: the nerdy kind. The same people who know the origin of "All your base are belong to us," and can sing all the lyrics to one or more of the songs from "Labyrinth."*  The social reinforcement for this kind of behavior has been frequent and life-long.  I was making a presentation to some high school students the other day, and at the end I asked if anybody had any questions.  One kid raised his hand and asked, "What's the answer to life, the universe, and everything?"
     "Forty-two," I replied without missing a beat.  About 85% of the kids looked confused.  To the 15% who looked impressed, I added, "Don't question my Geek Cred."
      But today, as I pointedly avoid eating anything evenly vaguely green or cracker-ish, I find myself wondering what exactly that means.  Geek cred.  What does qualify one as true geek?  We used to be easy to identify: back in the 80's most people thought video games were stupid, and any affection for fantasy fiction labeled one a social pariah.  Today, people can barely to keep from trampling one another to purchase the latest gaming console.  And it's hard to find people who don't watch "Star Wars."  Slowly, as interest and artistry has refined the industries, the audience has grown.
       In today's conversations, the words "geek" and "nerd" get thrown about without any negativity.  You hear people say things like, "I'm a fashion nerd," or "I'm really into music geeks."  To those who associate the central nouns with being stuffed into lockers, the addition of such mundane specifiers is dumbfounding.  Of course, the bullying has gone down, so most of us aren't complaining.  But it does beg a re-examination of the identity claim.
      It seems to me that an accurate contemporary use the words refers to an individual's intensity of interest in a topic, coupled with a fearlessness in it's demonstration.  For example: it's one thing for an NFL player in designer threads to be in a chic club talking about the upcoming season of "Game of Thrones."  It's another for an ordinary, middle-aged guy to be at the same location wearing a T-shirt with an 80's-like design of a big dragon.

When I see somebody wearing a shirt like this, I want to invite them to my D&D game.

      And that is what I really love: the fearlessness.  Whether it's old movies or anime, music or computer programming, people who take such joy that they don't care what people think, they want to share what they know with the world.  Those are the kind of people I'm drawn to--and if they are willing to hang out and watch "The Dark Crystal," all the better.

P.S. - if my husband is reading this, you can totally get me this T-shirt for my birthday.  Totally.

*Whether they can sing it in key is another matter entirely.

     When Camela and I recorded out Shadows On the Sound's podcast for February 9th, we discussed some heavy topics around gender and writing.  Then we finished the serious topic with this very silly Weekly Geeky Query: If you could see any of Disney's animated fairy tales remade with the genders swapped, which would it be?
      And Holy $#!t, the ensuing conversations have been FASCINATING.  Not to mention, I have been directed to many awesome websites!  Carly pointed me towards some great photos of mermen (every one of these models deserves a free plate of sushi in my opinion).  Camela, on her blog, directed readers to this amazing artist on Deviantart, Sakimichan.  He has a few Disney-inspired pieces, most of which are gender swapped.  This was my favorite:

Cruella as a fur-obsessed male just SCREAMS evil fashion genius in ways the original could only try.  In my perfect universe, this movie was made, and David Bowie played this villain.

      You should definitely go check out his page.  Most of his posted work is inspired by anime and video games, so I essentially had one nerd-gasm after another as I browsed.
      Of better yet, just type in "Disney movie gender swaps" to Google Images and let it all wash over you!  The amount of thought and creativity that has gone into this artwork is fabulous, and it really gets your wheels turning.  Camlea wrote a whole post about the impossibility of some of these fairy tales ever being written if the genders were swapped, due to medieval sexual politics.  I, however, am happy to be more liberal with my interpretation--after all, these are frickin' fairy tales, there's nothing logical or realistic about them!

Brought to you by The D Continuum.  Just let it soak in.

      To me what's more interesting is to consider the Disney story with the personalities and the relationships with nothing different the genders of the characters.  All the characters.  Even the seven dwarves, and the talking mice, and the symphony composing crab.  Some of these stories take on very, VERY weird sexual overtones with just those changes.  My favorite?  "Tangled."  Age-defying wizard kidnaps boy and keeps him in a tall tower, brushing his hair for many years.
      Yeah.
      But perhaps even more fascinating are the stories that don't seem to change much at all.  So I challenge all writers out there - myself included - to run this little experiment in your head with each of your own compositions.  With the genders swapped, does your plot still work?  Do you still like it?  Do you still find the characters believable?  And for each answer, why or why not?  I think this is a great way to stay mindful of stereotypes, social issues, and our own personal growth.
     And this Disney thing?  Best party ice-breaker ever.  You're welcome.

      During my panel at Ohayocon, an audience member asked a really great question: when, precisely, did the vampires/lycanthrope eternal grudge match originate?  It made me sit up and blink.  Oh yeah, when did that start?  Because it's so common nowadays, it feels like it's as old as ghost stories themselves.
      I did a little digging.  According to Wikipedia, in Greece an improperly killed werewolf could return from the grave as a vampire.  And in Serbia, the word vulkodlac refers to vampires and werewolves alike.  So...family in-fighting?  I turned this over to  my friend and podcast co-host Camela Thompson.  She one of those great paranormal novelists who does a ton of research, to make her fiction sound as convincing as possible.  Despite a crazy schedule, she put in the time and effort compose this guest post on the topic.  Enjoy!

http://moviepilot.com/posts/2744226

While I’ve found plenty of examples of werewolves and vampires both being feared in the 1800s, I can’t find any evidence of a war between the two creatures spanning the ages. The only reference I could find was a Romani story of werewolves guarding against vampires. It should be noted this source was a website with questionable grammar and a penchant for cheesy stock photos. The source used the term “vargulf,” a Norse word for a mad wolf who injures prey without consuming the animal. This makes me think that the person who wrote the piece watched a little too much Hemlock Grove (which has one of the most gruesome and therefore interesting werewolf transformation scenes in season one--I’m still getting over the disappointment of season two).