Geek Girl Con is this weekend!  If you live in the Seattle area, and you're a geeky girl, your attendance is required, lest you lose your hard-earned geek cred.  And geek cred can be hard to come by as a female: we're under-represented as serious players in the sciences, in sci-fi and fantasy genres,  in action comics and movies, and in video games.  There are a number of reasons for this, many of which are socio-political and/or historical.  But those are in the past.  It's time for Khaleesi to round up the dragons, for Samus to suit up, and for Black Widow to get her own movie.
      Seriously, Marvel: Black Widow needs her own freaking movie.

Or else.

      But I digress.
      If you're still making up your mind about attending, check out the line-up of panels and activities.  If that doesn't persuade you, go see a doctor, because I think you might have head trauma.  Yours truly will be co-hosting the panel "Brainy Anime Babes Who Know More Science Than You" on Saturday, at 1:30pm, along with horror/thriller novelist Camela Thompson.  We'll discuss women in the sciences through the lens of my favorite pop culture media.  Art emulates life, after all.
      Aside from the awesome panels, it's hard to know what I'm looking forward to the most.  The kick-ass cosplay?  The unbelievable merch!?  The games??!  Honestly, it's something far less tangible: the feeling of community.  The best thing about going to a Con is this overwhelming sense of "Holy $#!t, I've found my clan."  It gives us all a sense of belonging, and permission to let our freak flags fly!  And every geek - and every girl - can benefit from a shot of confidence.

See you there.

      This post requires a little backstory.  Not of the anime, but of why Camela and I sat down and binge-watched all 12 episodes of the first season last Saturday, when it was a gorgeous sunny day in Seattle.

From left to right: me, Her Royal Snugglepants Hairy Squirrel-Murder, and Camela. I'm opening a bar of Theo's chocolate, having already demolished a bowl of home-made guacamole and an entire bag of lentil chips, and Camela is almost done with her first bag of tarro chips.  Because we take research seriously.

      I wanted to update my presentation materials for Greek Girl Con.  Camela and I, along with her editor Patricia, will be doing a panel on "Brainy Anime Babes Who Know More Science Than You." I already did this at Ohayocon earlier this year, and there were a few tweaks I wanted to make, starting with adding more Brainy Babes to my list!  So I appealed - and continue to appeal - to all the anime fans I know to suggest characters to add. And my new friend Sean suggested I watch High School Of The Dead.  Camela elected to join me for a binge viewing. So with a few breaks and a lot of snacks, we took the plunge.
      Let me first say that Sean now owes me a boba tea. Because the "brainy babe" in this show didn't actually do anything remotely brainy (besides scream "I'm a genius" several, several times) until the FINAL FREAKING EPISODE!  So does she qualify for the presentation, or not? Now I have to watch Season Two.  sigh

Although we knew from the beginning who the Brainy Babe would be, because she's wearing glasses. This IS anime, people. Embrace the predictability.

      There were some things about it I really liked. The art was good for TV show, with a lot of the most contemporary styles affecting face shape, but with some throw backs in hair.* Camela confirmed that it followed a classic survival horror story pattern in terms of plot pacing and development. We both liked the way the zombies were portrayed, with the quick "turn time," and consistent details in physicality and behavior.  So points for the horror stuff.
      But add a face-palm or two for the number of panty shots.  Seriously.  Don't get me wrong, I am an anime fan, and that means I am happy to embrace a few skirt flares.  I know enough about Japanese culture to chuckle at the timing, and be amused by the irony that staring at a girl's crotch is just fine, but kissing is pornographic.** All the same, the number of PS's quickly reached "gratuitous" level for me.  I have a system for this, but that's a different blog post.  At least the boys reacted appropriately: there was no judgement, and no assumptions of inherent invitation.  If that were the attitude at college parties then campuses would be much safer places.
      The REAL issue that both Camela and I had with the series was the violence against women.  Not from the zombies, from the protagonist.  In the very first episode, our "hero" goes to tell his ex-girlfriend they need to evacuate the school, and when she gives him lip for interrupting her class, he slaps her.
      No, don't try to justify it.  It's wrong.  Period.

There was a Mythbusters episode about the efficacy of a slap in reversing cognitive impairment.  I'm too lazy to look it up.  Just Google it.

      Scientific research has shown that a slap can help interrupt hysteria and increase cognitive functioning when the brain is impaired by cold or fatigue.  But that was not what was going on here.  This was a male who wanted to get a female to do what he wanted, and he employed violence.  And this happened again between the same two characters later in the season, and then again between the same male protagonist and another female.  And the worst part?  After their initial shock, the girls simpered and acted grateful for him taking charge.
      So let me say it again: THIS IS WRONG.  This is where fiction gets it wrong.  That's assault, plain and simple.  It is ineffective, unethical, and illegal, and all for good reasons.  That is not taking charge and being a man, that is letting base instinct over-rule better judgement, and being a primal asshole.  Stories have power, and as vendors of fiction, both Camela and believe we have a duty.  So I'm calling out the creators of High School Of The Dead.  Get your pre-pubescent wanna-be macho heads out of your daydream space (aka "ass").  If you want your character to be a hero, then you need to rethink his approach.
      I will be on the lookout for this when I watch Season Two.  As it stands, I'm not sure I can honestly recommend this series to anybody, for that reason.  I won't take it lightly.  Nobody should take it lightly.  Because that's exactly the problem.
      And you thought this was going to be a light, amusing piece about anime zombies.  Yeah...so did I.




*If you know what I mean by that, then you and I should go out for drinks, my fellow Otaku.

**H.S.O.T.D. is a fabulous example of this, by the way. There's boob jiggles and panty shots galore, and in one episode even full upper-body nudity (which I wasn't expecting), but no kissing.  There's music and soft lighting and camera pans whenever somebody goes in for a kiss.  Japan is fascinating.

      I had soooo much fun at Ohayocon 2016!!!!  There is no happiness like the glee of being a nerd in a sea of nerds doing nerdy things in all of our nerdy gloriousness!

A crowd shot while waiting for the Cosplay Expo to begin.  Just seeing so many people in costume makes me smile!

      I literally enjoyed every minute of the three days I attended.*  Merch was purchased, including a cool jacket for the spouse and some gifts for friends from Artist Alley.  I nearly split my sides laughing at some of the videos, and I attended some very interesting panels.  My favorite may have been the last one we attended, "How (Not) To Conquer The World, 80's Villain Style"--it was the perfect goofy note to end the Con.
      But the highlight for me was presenting my first ever Con panel, "From Jiangshi to Alucard: Vampires East & West!"  I had so much fun sharing all the information I'd researched, and my audience was awesome.  They asked great questions, offered fascinating insight, and cracked me up with some of their comments!  I have to offer a major thank-you to all for giving me a serious presenter's high.

My husband took this shot of people lining up for my panel before it started.  I was standing right behind him, compulsively eating Pocky out of nerves.  Well, nerves and the fact that Pocky are addictively tasty.

   The audience also challenged me with some interesting questions I couldn't answer on the spot--I guess no matter how much vampire anime I watched, it wasn't enough!  (Yeay!)  But I promised to follow up and I am nothing if not a geek of my word.  Two of the things I promised to look up:

1) When did the famous vampyre vs. lycanthrope grudge match begin?  Is it purely a fictional tool developed by writers in the last century, or does it have roots in older vampire lore?
      I forwarded this question to my good friend and podcast co-host, Camela Thompson.  Since she writes paranormal thrillers, she's very familiar with the vampire/werewolf tensions, and she agreed to look into it further.  She'll share her findings in a guest post on my blog in a week or so.

2) What's with the connection between rabbits and vampires in Japan?
      I'll confess, this question threw me.  In my 60+ hours of vampire anime/mange consumption in the last few months I can't say I came across a single rabbit reference.  Which makes me wonder if I wasted my time watching and reading all the wrong stuff.  After the panel an audience member came up and suggested it may have to do with a Chinese legend about the rabbit stirring the cauldron in the moon.  I'm going to dig a little deeper, and I should have a full answer on my blog by the end of the month.

Do I look like I know what I'm talking about?  Great!

      I also did a panel with my friend Carly on Sunday morning, called "Brainy Anime Babes Who Know More Science Than You!"  It was - as expected first thing on Sunday morning - minimally attended, but the awesome people who did attend were fabulous!  They had ton of fascinating science info and anime trivia to contribute.  And one guy gave me caffeinated chocolate--thank you, unknown distributor of stimulants!**

Me without my glasses, semi-cosplaying Kurisu Makise from "Steins;Gate."  And Carly, awesomely crossplaying Dr. Horrible.  And yes, she is the Carly Taylor who won the Journeyman Level Cosplay Expo with her Suzino outfit!

      Over-all, it was the perfect beginning to 2016.  So here's a big wave to everyone I met, and a thank you to everyone who attended my panels!  I hope we meet again, and in the meantime: may your online anime never fail to stream!  Next on my list to watch: "Tokyo Ghoul."  It should tide me over until "Attack on Titan" finally resumes!
     Oh, and I am always open to suggestions!



*With the possible exception of my multiple trips waiting for the Room of Holding to open.  The fact that it was never available when we needed it inspired Carly to re-name it the Room of Requirement.  It was probably closed so often because staff were trying to empty out the alarming number of chamberpots.

**I just realized I literally took candy from a stranger.  It seems I retain zero of the life-lessons drilled into me during childhood.  Was Pedobear at the Con?  Apparently I should have gone up and hugged him.  Next time, I guess.

     I made up my mind to do a panel for Ohayocon 2016 about three days after Ohayocon 2015 came to an end.  But it wasn't until Camela and I started getting ramped up for our podcast that I hit on a topic: vampires.  It was perfect.  They're a fiction staple that never seems to lose momentum in either the U.S., or Japan.  There are tons of TV shows, movies, and (best of all) anime featuring vampires, ranging from the spell-binding to the flat-out horrible.  And best of all, I am perfectly content watching all of the above.

      Or so I thought.  As time went on, the number of emotionally tortured protagonists taxed even my melodramatic sensibilities.  I found myself pondering deep philosophical questions, such as: "Who broods harder? 'Bill' from season 3 of True Blood, or 'Angelus' from season 2 of Angel?"  It's a question that demands an answer, but all I had to go on was late-night conversations with girlfriends over too much riesling.  I needed hard data!  So I decided to put my 7+ years of psychology education to good use, and I created:

The Undead Depressive Preoccupation Inventory

      Or, you can just call it the Vampire Broodometer for shorthand.  I developed this tool based on some basic principals, starting with these dictionary definitions of the adjective "brooding:" showing deep unhappiness of thoughtl preoccupied with depressing, morbid, or painful memories or thoughts.  So that becomes my primary characteristic; if a vampire doesn't fit this basic dictionary definition, there's no point in applying the UDPI.  If he* does, however, then the following pseudo-psychological assessment becomes a useful tool for easy comparisons between moody, undead bloodsuckers.

      A completed UDPI score appears as a string of letters and numbers in three sections, separated by slashes.  For example: 2005/SGAP/4.  That may look complicated at first, but it's actually pretty straightforward.  Let me break it down for you:

SECTION ONE: ASSESSMENT CHRONOLOGY
      The first part of the code is the year the measurement was taken.  Vampires live a long time, after all, and their psychological states are changeable.  So our example score of 2005/SGAP/4 indicates that the assessment of the vampire's broodiness was taken in the year 2005.

Angelus from the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel" TV series is a perfect example of how a vampire's level and expression of broodiness can change over time.

SECTION TWO: DEPRESSIVE TRAIT SCALE
      The second section of the score is a series of four letters.  I based this section of the assessment off the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, or MBTI.  Before your eyes glaze over, let me point that you've probably taken at least part of this personality "test" before, because they're a popular tool for career assessment in high school.  It assesses four key personality traits, namely: Extroversion/Introversion. Sensing/Intuition, Thinking/Feeling, and Judging/Perceiving.  The results are coded in four letters, such as: ENFJ.  Sound familiar? 
      Ok, except our UDPI assessed four key Broodiness factors: 
      Sad/Mad - Whether the vampire's emotional baseline is primarily melancholy or angry.
      Isolated/Grouped - Does the vampire typically live alone, or with others?
      Obsessive/Avoidant - Vampire brooding tends to fixate on an individual, either living or dead (or undead).  This section of the assessment measures whether the vampire hangs around things that remind him of the individual, or prefers to distance himself.
      Pacifist/Violent - A brooding vampire is usually either penitent or vengeful.  Or both.  This may express itself in self-denial and pacifism, or through aggressive acts in the name of justice.  Or both.  But the primary state at the time of the assessment is to be recorded in the score.

      These traits are assessed through questions, with five questions per section.  As you go through, circle the answer you believe is the best fit (go with your gut if you're on the fence).  Then tally your answers.  The letter selected most often within the section indicates your final answer.
      Go ahead, pick a vampire and give it a try!

Sad/Mad - To determine the vampire's emotional baseline as melancholy or angry.
1. When the vampire develops romantic attraction to someone, is he more likely to express this through:
    S: Stalking and cryptic messages, or
    M: killing the enemies of said love interest?

2. When the vampire is rejected by a love interest, is he more likely to respond by:
    S: isolating himself somewhere dramatic, or
    M: going out and committing acts of violence?

3. During free time, is the vampire in question more likely to:
    S: read books, or
    M: hunt or train for combat?

4. When the vampire is drinking blood directly from a human, is his facial expression more likely to denote:
    S: revulsion and sadness, or
    M: desperate ferocity?

5. When fighting against mortal enemies, which of the following verbalizations is the vampire more likely to utter?
    S: Poignant insights, spoken in a quiet voice?
    M: Pointed, witty threats offered in a growling tone?


Isolated/Grouped - Does the vampire typically dwell alone or with others?
1. Is it not uncommon for the vampire allow other individuals to sleep with him in his coffin?
    I: No.
    G: Yes.

2. Does the vampire reside in a building where other beings - mortal or otherwise - also reside, who welcome the vampire's presence?
    I: No.
    G: Yes.

3.When the vampire changes residences, do other vampires move with him?
    I: No.
    G: Yes.

4. Does the vampire keep moving around in order to avoid being found by others?
    I: Yes.
    G: No.

5. Is the vampire still tied in daily service to his Maker/Master?
    I: No.
    G: Yes.


Obsessive/Avoidant - Vampire brooding tends to fixate on an individual; for convenience, we will refer to this person as the Object Of Fixation, or "OOF" from hereon out.  This section of the assessment measures whether the vampire hangs around that individual (or, if said individual is dead, hangs around the grave, or places that remind him of the deceased), or prefers to distance himself, physically and/or mentally.

1. Does the vampire currently reside on a different continent than that where his OOF was last seen?
    O:  No.
    A: Yes.

2. Does the vampire carry reminders of his OOF with him, such as photographs, handkerchiefs, locks of hair, dry and crumbling bones, etc?
    O: Yes.
    A: No.

3. Does the vampire regularly visit his OOF's place of residence while is OOF is asleep without the OOF's knowledge (otherwise known as "stalking")?
    O: Yes.
    A:  No.

4. Has the vampire at any point deliberately sought out other beings who resemble his OOF, either as prey or company?
    O: Yes.
    A: No.

5. If the OOF has told the vampire s/he no longer wants to see him, and later gets into some kind of danger, does the vampire: 
    O: Disregard the OOF's desires and run to her/his defense, bracing himself for the dramatic scene likely to follow, or
    A: Determinedly stay away, fists clenched, staring fixedly at nothing?


Pacifist/Violent - Is the vampire primarily penitent and self-denying, or vengeful in the name of justice.

1. Does the vampire's diet consist primarily or human blood from live humans (willing or no)?
    P: No.
    V: Yes.

2. When the vampire feeds from living humans, does he usually:
    P: Leave them alive using his vampire powers to somehow heal/hypnotize the victim into tranquil forgetfulness, or
    V: Drain the victim to their death, and then dispose of the body in a dramatic location?

3. Does the vampire's daily life mainly consist of:
    P: Academic, political, or otherwise peaceful pursuits to further the well-being of all living animated beings?
    V: Relentlessly hunting down the wicked, and protecting those who cannot or will not fight for themselves?

4. When selecting humans for blood consumption, does the vampire:
    P: Only feed off of criminals or other socially abhorrent persons, turning his hateful appetite into a tool for good (despite the flavor), or
    V: Choose victims who tantalize his superior senses, providing the most personal satisfaction?

5. When confronted by a violent enemy, is the vampire's first response to:
    P:  Use the power of words in an attempt to find a resolution where nobody gets hurt, preferably in a win/win scenario, or
    V: Fight with all the hateful powers he possesses and attempt to destroy his enemy quickly?

Louis, from Anne Rice’s classic novel Interview with the Vampire: 1976/SIAV/5 

Angel, from Joss Whedon’s brilliant TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer and it’s associated TV and comic spin-offs: 1999/SISV/5 and 2004/MGAV/6 

Edward, from the undeniably popular Twilight series: 2007/SGAP/2 

Kaname, from the quintessential anime and manga Vampire Knight: 2005/SGSP/4

      Kind of a loosey-goosey recipe this week; I'm so busy prepping for Ohayocon that I'm mainly eating leftovers and large batches of clean-out-the-cupboard soup.*  But if I think this weekend is crazy, next weekend - when the Con is in full swing - is going to be even crazier!  I purchased my three-day pass last summer, and I plan to be on-site and geeking out as much as possible from 4pm Friday to 5pm Sunday.
      And, of course, I'll be hosting two panels: one on vampire culture in anime, and another on the most brilliant science minds among fictional anime females.  Hope to see you there!
      Now there is food to be purchased at the convention center, but it tends to be of the over-priced, highly processed variety.  There are some really excellent restaurants within a two-block radius of the convention center, too, but they will be crowded with long wait times.  So the answer is to bring as much of my own food as possible.  I like snacks that can sit at room temperature and don't have a lot of packaging, so I will have some home-blend trail mix and green apples in my pockets.  And, since I'll definitely be in a Japanese mood, I'll be bringing onigiri!

Classic onigiri.  But just for fun, type "onigiri" into Google Image search, and take a look at some of the cute and creative designs people come up with!

      Onigiri is a classic Japanese rice ball.  They tend to be patted into a vaguely triangular shape, and served with a strip of nori for easy handling.  Sometimes they're plain, but most often they conceal a tasty filling.  Traditional fillings include a paste made of bonito flakes mixed with soy sauce (katsuobushi), or pickled plums.  But there's no limit to what you can do--I've known people to encase minced leftover stir-fry, edamame, hot dog chunks, and even peanut butter!

Surprise!  This one had a tuna salad filling.  Since I hate mayo, I would *never* do this.  But you can, if you want to.

      For me, I like to take an asian fusion approach, such as leftover Thai larb mixture, or cooked ground pork mixed with Hoisin sauce.  But for Ohayhocon I'll probably use tofu, so I don't need to worry about things sitting at room temperature for a long time.  Here's the recipe I'll be using:

Z.D.'s Easy Fried Tofu

Ingredients:
1 large block extra-firm tofu, drained and pressed**
2 Tablespoons soy sauce
2 teaspoons rice vinegar or mirin
1/4 teaspoon sesame oil
1 garlic clove
1/4 tsp minced ginger
2 Tablespoons cooking oil (I like olive oil)

Directions:
 - While tofu is draining, combine all ingredients except cooking oil in a sandwich-size tupperware container with a water-tight lid.  Put on the lid, and shake vigorously to combine.  Set aside.

 - Place tofu block on a level cutting board.  With a sharp knife, halve the block horizontally to create two long rectangles.  Slice crosswise into 1/4 inch slices.

This is about the thinness you're going for.

 - Separate the tofu squares, then layer in the box of marinade (if you don't separate them first they will just adhere together with moisture).  Clamp on the lid, and shake thoroughly to coat tofu in the marinade.  Let rest for 20 minutes, then shake again and rest upside down.  (It's Ok if the tofu gets squished around or a little broken up.)

 - In a large, nonstick skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat.  When just shimmering, remove the tofu from the marinade and lay pieces flat in the oil, reserving leftover marinade.  Cook without stirring until golden brown and slightly crisp, about 8 - 10 minutes.  Flip pieces over and cook until golden brown and slightly crisp on the other side, about 5 minutes.

 - At this point, you can toss this tofu into stir-fry, fried rice, curry, or keep it on hand to munch for a high-protein snack.  To make onigiri, remove from heat and allow tofu to cool until comfortable to handle.  Mince, and place minced tofu back into marinade box to absorb any remaining marinade.  Set aside and prepare sushi rice.


Z.D.'s Preferred Sushi Rice Preparation

Ingredients:
2 Cups water
1 & 1/2 Cup uncooked sushi rice, thoroughly rinsed and drained
1 Tablespoon unseasoned rice vinegar
1/2 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp kosher salt

Directions:
 - In a medium saucepan, bring the water just to a boil.  Add in the polished rice, cover with a lid, and decrease stove heat to the lowest possible setting.  After 14 minutes of the covered pan sitting on this low heat, turn heat off entirely.  Let covered rice sit off-heat for another 14 minutes.

 - Meanwhile, stir together the remaining ingredients until sugar and salt are dissolved.  When rice is done, remove the lid and stir the vinegar mixture into the rice.  Let cool uncovered for about 5 minutes, then begin onigiri assembly.

This really is easiest to stir with a rice paddle, but a quality wooden spoon works Ok.  Don't get frustrated if your rice is sticky--it's SUPPOSED to be sticky!

Z.D.'s Simple Tofu Onigiri
makes 6 stuffed rice balls

Ingredients:
1 Tablespoon cool water
1 teaspoon rice vinegar
1 batch sushi rice (see recipe above)
1 batch minced fried tofu (see recipe above)
1 large strip pickled ginger, shredded (optional)
6 strips of nori
Black sesame seeds and/or dried salmon flakes, optional

Directions:
 - In a small bowl, whisk together the water and vinegar.  Set aside.  Line another small bowl (like a cereal bowl) with plastic wrap, with at least one inch over-hang in all directions.

 - Divide the rice into 6 equal portions.  Spoon one portion into the plastic-lined bowl.  Wet your fingertips with the water-vinegar mixture, and press the rice down into an even layer up the sides, a little less than 1/2 inch thick.  This will create a sort of curved rice pancake.

 - Place a spoonful of the minced tofu into the middle of the rice.  Add a few pieces of shredded pickled ginger, if using.  Gather the plastic wrap and use it to fold the edges of your rice pancake over the filling.  Gently press the rice through the plastic wrap to make a firmly shaped rice ball (tradition calls for a soft triangle shape, about 1.5 inches thick).

I borrowed this from Michelle's Tiny Kitchen, which has some great recipes and really good instructional photos.

 - Open plastic wrap.  Place one strip of nori along one flat side of the triangle like a pot-holder, and remove the rice ball.  Sprinkle other two sides with black sesame seeds or salmon flakes, if using.  Repeat with remaining ingredients to make six rice balls in total.  (You will have leftover minced tofu.  Just stick it in an airtight container in the fridge and snack on it later.)

Some people like to mix the toppings into the rice, but I like the classic look of the sprinkle outside.

      Wrap each rice ball loosely in plastic and refrigerate until ready to eat--you can make these up to three days in advance.  They're a staple in bento (Japanese box lunches), and they make a nice afternoon snack.  For a light meal, I recommend serving them with miso soup, seaweed salad, and some fresh fruit.
      As for me?  Next Saturday, look for a woman in a black top hat sitting somewhere along the wall in the Columbus Convention Center, munching rice balls between 11am and 12noon.  I'll probably be with somebody cos-playing as Suzuno from "The Devil Is A Part-Timer."  And if you bring me mochi or dango, I might just trade.

Will trade savory for sweet!

*Which, now that I think about it, would make a good blog entry...but another time.

**Not sure how to do that?  Lay your tofu on a cutting board and raise one end about a half inch (I use a jar lid).  Put a plate on the tofu, and top with a small weight (I use an apple).  Let the tofu rest as the water is pressed out (you may want to put paper towels under the lower end of the cutting board).  You should let the tofu drain this way at least 45 minutes--I like to let it drain for an hour.

      If you read this blog, you've probably figured out that I'm a nerd.  If you listen to my podcast, Shadows On the Sound, you know for certain that I am a big nerd.  And now, just in case you had any doubts as to how big of a nerd, it is my distinct delight and honor to announce:

      The secret to having your Thanksgiving turkey keep a moist breast?  Roast it on it's stomach.  Everybody wants the photo-worthy turkey with it's bronze dome of a breast pointing towards the sky...but then they cut into it and it's dry, dry, dry!  So turn that bird on it's belly!  It may not be as impressive to look at (but who cares, you only look at it for the 20 minutes it's resting, then you slice the damn thing apart), and you may not have the same quantity of crispy skin on the back, but the big slaps of white meat on the breast of the turkey will stay moist as all the fat and liquified collagen trickles down during the roasting process.
      Alas, I was not in charge of cooking the turkey this year for my family.  I was in charge of the cranberry sauce, the pumpkin pie, and the Drunken Sweet Potatoes (secret recipe, sorry).  That meant we roasted the bird in the traditional fashion and wound up with lots of perfectly scrumptious dark meat, and lots of...well, dry white meat.  Guess which made the most left overs?
      BUT...I had a plan!
      Shortly before Thanksgiving, I had a friend visiting who shares my love of Asian food.  She asked me if I had made omurice* yet (pronounced O-MU-RYE-Su).  I said, "Huh?"

I know...this photo doesn't explain anything.  Keep reading.

      She went on to explain that this is a Japanese comfort food often made for kids, which is their version of an omelette.  To be more specific, it is the Japanese version of the American version of the French omelette.  The French make beautiful, tissue-paper thin egg wrapped around balanced, gourmet filling.  In the U.S. we pour a thick egg pancake and fill it with leftovers.  Japan kept the thin French approach to the egg, but then put in their leftovers - mainly rice - and "Americanized" them by stir-frying it with a ton of ketchup.
      I am not making this up.  Here is a great video lesson on how to make authentic omurice.
      Once this was explained to me, I went, "Oooh!  So that's that weird thing they make in all those anime I've seen!"  As a cute comfort food, omurice does indeed make many appearances in anime (second only to ramen and bento boxes), most notably in one of last year's solo-episodes of "Attack On Titan," one of four desperate attempts to placate ravenous fans who can't understand why more anime hasn't come out yet.  And if you know anything about the show, then you understand me when I summarize this episode as: Random. Ass.

It LOOKS like they're having a dramatic speech about killing the enemy, but they're not.  They're about to watch General Pixus chow down.  Because, you know, Titans.

      Anyway, back to the omurice.  I liked the idea, but had one major problem in that I don't like ketchup.**  Easy enough, I swapped it out with a mixture I made puréeing Hoisin sauce and sun dried tomatoes.  It was delicious, and I immediately sensed the possibilities...particularly around Thanksgiving leftovers!  So yes, I figured out a way to use that dry white turkey meat, the cranberry sauce, and even some of the leftover peas to make a scrumptious, bizarre Japanese omelette!!!  Enjoy!

Z.D.'s Thanksgiving Leftovers Omurice
Makes 2 omelette-thingies

Ingredients:
3 Tablespoons vegetable oil, divided
8 large fresh shiitake mushrooms
1/2 Cup leftover whole cranberry sauce
1 Tablespoon + 2 teaspoons soysauce, divided
1/2 Cup minced yellow onion
3 large eggs
2 teaspoons water
1 clove garlic (optional)
1 Cup leftover turkey meat, minced
1 Cup leftover plain white rice (or fresh, just make sure it's cooled to room temp)
1/2 Cup leftover peas (optional)

Directions:
 - In a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat, warm 1 Tablespoon of the oil.  Brush the mushroom caps clean, and remove from the stems.  Coarsely chop the caps and add to the oil.  Cook, stirring occasionally, until golden brown on all sides.

Shiitakes pack a strong, distinct flavor, full of umame!

 - Meanwhile, coarsely chop the shiitake stems and put in a small saucepan with about 2/3 Cup water.  Bring to a boil, then decrease heat to a simmer.  Cook until liquid reduces to 1/4 Cup.  Strain out the mushrooms, pressing to release the liquid, then discard the solids.

Alternatively, you can use dried shiitake mushrooms and re-hydrade them in a bowl of water for 30 minutes.  Press the mushrooms dry, chop, and cook according to the recipe, and use the soaking liquid in lieu of the simmered liquid.

 - Place the mushroom liquid, sautéed mushrooms, 1 Tablespoon soy sauce and the cranberry sauce in a blender, and purée to a thick, ketchup-like paste.  Taste, and add another 1 tsp soy sauce if desired.  Set aside.

You do NOT need to use the cranberry sauce I made for Thanksgiving (in fact it's better with traditional flavor), but you really do need whole cranberry sauce.  If you're not already making your own, next year is the time to start!  Easy, you can do it several days ahead, and YUM!

 - Add another 1 Tablespoon of oil to the skillet, reduce the heat to medium, and add the onion.  Cook, stirring occasionally, until softened and just starting to brown.

If you want, you can toss a little onion into the cranberry sauce.  Up to you.

 - Meanwhile, crack the eggs into a measuring cup.  Add the 2 tsp water and 1 tsp soy sauce.  Beat until thoroughly emulsified.  Set side.

The salt in the soy sauce will help the eggs break down faster.

 - When the onion is ready, press in the garlic (if using), then add the leftover turkey, rice, and peas (if using).  Stir fry until warmed through.

Stir a lot!  The rice will stick if you let it!

 - Add all but about 1 Tablespoon of your cranberry shiitake sauce to the stir-fry, and increase the heat to medium-high.  Stir constantly until all ingredients are fully mixed, heated through, and the cranberry mixture is starting to caramelize.  Scrape stir-fry onto a plate, and use a hot wet cloth to wipe your skillet clean!

Think this is weird?  Imagine it with ketcup!

 - Return to the skillet to medium-high heat and pour in the remaining oil.  When oil is just about to smoke, pour in 1/2 of the egg mixture and tilt the pan rapidly to distribute into a thin pancake.  This will start to cook immediately!

The oil may seem to slide out along the edges, but don't worry, it's doing it's job.

 - When only a tiny bit of egg is still liquid, add half of your stir-fry into a mound in the middle of the omelette.  Slide out of the pan onto a plate, rolling the egg over the filling.  Use a handful of paper towels to tuck the ends of the omelette underneath, creating a football-like shape.  Repeat with remaining egg and filling.

This step also removes some of the excess oil, which is nice.

      This is traditionally topped with a squiggle or other cute face made of ketchup.  Obviously we're using our cranberry shiitake sauce.  This dish looks like nothing else, and tastes like nothing else, but we loved it.  It's going to be a go-to makeover for our Thanksgiving leftovers for years to come!

The plate is messy because I re-used the plate that I used to hold the stir-fry in reserve.  Just ignore that part, and look at how *cute* it is!

*This word combines "omelette" and "rice," you see.

**Between that, the fact that I hate mustard, and refuse to eat hot dogs, it's amazing they haven't deported me as a failed American.