Scribbles & Munch

     I made up my mind to do a panel for Ohayocon 2016 about three days after Ohayocon 2015 came to an end.  But it wasn't until Camela and I started getting ramped up for our podcast that I hit on a topic: vampires.  It was perfect.  They're a fiction staple that never seems to lose momentum in either the U.S., or Japan.  There are tons of TV shows, movies, and (best of all) anime featuring vampires, ranging from the spell-binding to the flat-out horrible.  And best of all, I am perfectly content watching all of the above.

      Or so I thought.  As time went on, the number of emotionally tortured protagonists taxed even my melodramatic sensibilities.  I found myself pondering deep philosophical questions, such as: "Who broods harder? 'Bill' from season 3 of True Blood, or 'Angelus' from season 2 of Angel?"  It's a question that demands an answer, but all I had to go on was late-night conversations with girlfriends over too much riesling.  I needed hard data!  So I decided to put my 7+ years of psychology education to good use, and I created:

The Undead Depressive Preoccupation Inventory

      Or, you can just call it the Vampire Broodometer for shorthand.  I developed this tool based on some basic principals, starting with these dictionary definitions of the adjective "brooding:" showing deep unhappiness of thoughtl preoccupied with depressing, morbid, or painful memories or thoughts.  So that becomes my primary characteristic; if a vampire doesn't fit this basic dictionary definition, there's no point in applying the UDPI.  If he* does, however, then the following pseudo-psychological assessment becomes a useful tool for easy comparisons between moody, undead bloodsuckers.

      A completed UDPI score appears as a string of letters and numbers in three sections, separated by slashes.  For example: 2005/SGAP/4.  That may look complicated at first, but it's actually pretty straightforward.  Let me break it down for you:

SECTION ONE: ASSESSMENT CHRONOLOGY
      The first part of the code is the year the measurement was taken.  Vampires live a long time, after all, and their psychological states are changeable.  So our example score of 2005/SGAP/4 indicates that the assessment of the vampire's broodiness was taken in the year 2005.

Angelus from the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel" TV series is a perfect example of how a vampire's level and expression of broodiness can change over time.

SECTION TWO: DEPRESSIVE TRAIT SCALE
      The second section of the score is a series of four letters.  I based this section of the assessment off the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, or MBTI.  Before your eyes glaze over, let me point that you've probably taken at least part of this personality "test" before, because they're a popular tool for career assessment in high school.  It assesses four key personality traits, namely: Extroversion/Introversion. Sensing/Intuition, Thinking/Feeling, and Judging/Perceiving.  The results are coded in four letters, such as: ENFJ.  Sound familiar? 
      Ok, except our UDPI assessed four key Broodiness factors: 
      Sad/Mad - Whether the vampire's emotional baseline is primarily melancholy or angry.
      Isolated/Grouped - Does the vampire typically live alone, or with others?
      Obsessive/Avoidant - Vampire brooding tends to fixate on an individual, either living or dead (or undead).  This section of the assessment measures whether the vampire hangs around things that remind him of the individual, or prefers to distance himself.
      Pacifist/Violent - A brooding vampire is usually either penitent or vengeful.  Or both.  This may express itself in self-denial and pacifism, or through aggressive acts in the name of justice.  Or both.  But the primary state at the time of the assessment is to be recorded in the score.

      These traits are assessed through questions, with five questions per section.  As you go through, circle the answer you believe is the best fit (go with your gut if you're on the fence).  Then tally your answers.  The letter selected most often within the section indicates your final answer.
      Go ahead, pick a vampire and give it a try!

Sad/Mad - To determine the vampire's emotional baseline as melancholy or angry.
1. When the vampire develops romantic attraction to someone, is he more likely to express this through:
    S: Stalking and cryptic messages, or
    M: killing the enemies of said love interest?

2. When the vampire is rejected by a love interest, is he more likely to respond by:
    S: isolating himself somewhere dramatic, or
    M: going out and committing acts of violence?

3. During free time, is the vampire in question more likely to:
    S: read books, or
    M: hunt or train for combat?

4. When the vampire is drinking blood directly from a human, is his facial expression more likely to denote:
    S: revulsion and sadness, or
    M: desperate ferocity?

5. When fighting against mortal enemies, which of the following verbalizations is the vampire more likely to utter?
    S: Poignant insights, spoken in a quiet voice?
    M: Pointed, witty threats offered in a growling tone?


Isolated/Grouped - Does the vampire typically dwell alone or with others?
1. Is it not uncommon for the vampire allow other individuals to sleep with him in his coffin?
    I: No.
    G: Yes.

2. Does the vampire reside in a building where other beings - mortal or otherwise - also reside, who welcome the vampire's presence?
    I: No.
    G: Yes.

3.When the vampire changes residences, do other vampires move with him?
    I: No.
    G: Yes.

4. Does the vampire keep moving around in order to avoid being found by others?
    I: Yes.
    G: No.

5. Is the vampire still tied in daily service to his Maker/Master?
    I: No.
    G: Yes.


Obsessive/Avoidant - Vampire brooding tends to fixate on an individual; for convenience, we will refer to this person as the Object Of Fixation, or "OOF" from hereon out.  This section of the assessment measures whether the vampire hangs around that individual (or, if said individual is dead, hangs around the grave, or places that remind him of the deceased), or prefers to distance himself, physically and/or mentally.

1. Does the vampire currently reside on a different continent than that where his OOF was last seen?
    O:  No.
    A: Yes.

2. Does the vampire carry reminders of his OOF with him, such as photographs, handkerchiefs, locks of hair, dry and crumbling bones, etc?
    O: Yes.
    A: No.

3. Does the vampire regularly visit his OOF's place of residence while is OOF is asleep without the OOF's knowledge (otherwise known as "stalking")?
    O: Yes.
    A:  No.

4. Has the vampire at any point deliberately sought out other beings who resemble his OOF, either as prey or company?
    O: Yes.
    A: No.

5. If the OOF has told the vampire s/he no longer wants to see him, and later gets into some kind of danger, does the vampire: 
    O: Disregard the OOF's desires and run to her/his defense, bracing himself for the dramatic scene likely to follow, or
    A: Determinedly stay away, fists clenched, staring fixedly at nothing?


Pacifist/Violent - Is the vampire primarily penitent and self-denying, or vengeful in the name of justice.

1. Does the vampire's diet consist primarily or human blood from live humans (willing or no)?
    P: No.
    V: Yes.

2. When the vampire feeds from living humans, does he usually:
    P: Leave them alive using his vampire powers to somehow heal/hypnotize the victim into tranquil forgetfulness, or
    V: Drain the victim to their death, and then dispose of the body in a dramatic location?

3. Does the vampire's daily life mainly consist of:
    P: Academic, political, or otherwise peaceful pursuits to further the well-being of all living animated beings?
    V: Relentlessly hunting down the wicked, and protecting those who cannot or will not fight for themselves?

4. When selecting humans for blood consumption, does the vampire:
    P: Only feed off of criminals or other socially abhorrent persons, turning his hateful appetite into a tool for good (despite the flavor), or
    V: Choose victims who tantalize his superior senses, providing the most personal satisfaction?

5. When confronted by a violent enemy, is the vampire's first response to:
    P:  Use the power of words in an attempt to find a resolution where nobody gets hurt, preferably in a win/win scenario, or
    V: Fight with all the hateful powers he possesses and attempt to destroy his enemy quickly?

Louis, from Anne Rice’s classic novel Interview with the Vampire: 1976/SIAV/5 

Angel, from Joss Whedon’s brilliant TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer and it’s associated TV and comic spin-offs: 1999/SISV/5 and 2004/MGAV/6 

Edward, from the undeniably popular Twilight series: 2007/SGAP/2 

Kaname, from the quintessential anime and manga Vampire Knight: 2005/SGSP/4