It was been waaaaay too long since I've posted a recipe on this blog.  That is partially - I kid you not - because I don't have a good way to take food photos right now.  And I like to post pictures to show you what I've made.  Because I'm vain.  But it's summer, and it's hot, and I'm hungry, dang it!  So here's my latest dessert: Lemon Meringue Parfait!
      I created this sweet concoction for a family member who is very fond of lemon meringue pie, when I was feeling too lazy to make a whole pie.  The only part that you actually bake is the meringue sheet, the rest is just assembly.  And since it's a frozen dessert you can make it all ahead of time!

So instead of this, you have something sweet and frozen in a personal-size portion!

Lemon Meringue Parfait
serves 4 to 6, depending on portion size

Ingredients:
1 egg white
pinch salt
1/4 Cup sugar
1/4 tsp vanilla extract
1 pint lemon sorbet
16 graham crackers (approximately)
8 oz honey sweetened yogurt (I like Noosa brand, myself)
Fresh berries for topping (optional)

Directions:
 - Select your parfait glasses (I recommend something tall and clear to show off the pretty layers) and place them in the freezer to chill while you prep.  Preheat your oven to 200º F, and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.  In a medium bowl, use an electric mixer to beat the egg white with the pinch of salt until frothy.  Add in the sugar and vanilla, and beat until stiff peaks form.

Stiff peaks means STIFF!

 - Use a rubber spatula to spread your meringue onto the baking sheet in a disk about 1/3 inch thick (shape of disk really doesn't matter).  Bake 90 minutes, until meringue is crisp and the edges have taken on no more than the faintest hint of brown.  Turn off the oven, and allow meringue to cool over night.*

 - Remove sorbet from the freezer and allow to soften a couple minutes while you finish your prep.  Crumble all your graham crackers into a bowl, until about the consistency of fine gravel.  In a second bowl, crumble the meringue to a similar consistency.  Remove the parfait glasses from the freezer.  Layer the ingredients as follows in each glass, distributing equally as you go:


 - Return to freezer until ready to serve.  Just before serving, top each with a dollop of yogurt, and garnish with berries and/or an extra dusting of fine graham cracker crumbs.

It will sorta-kinda look like this, although I think these are mini parfaits made with whipped cream and pudding.

TIP: Rather than scooping the sorbet in round scoops, shave it out kind of flat with a regular spoon, and lightly spread each layer to make it even.  It's prettier that way!

      Obviously you can tweak this recipe however you like.  If you like a creamier treat, I recommend sneaking a layer of yogurt between the middle meringue and graham cracker crumbles.  You could also substitute gingersnaps or vanilla wafers for the crackers, or even lemon shortbread for a little extra zing.  You could always do whipped cream or ice cream instead of the yogurt--I go for the yogurt because I like the tang.  Whatever you do, just make sure you enjoy with a long spoon and a smile!



*This step is optional, but meringue must be fully cool to continue.

      I haven't written on this blog for a couple weeks, because I've been thinking very carefully about what I wanted to say.  A couple weeks ago, a series of painful, terrible events happened in Texas.*  Usually I say something about these kinds of killings.  But this time I didn't; this time I pretended nothing had happened.
      A couple people who know me personally asked about the absence of comment on my blog.  My explanation is simple: I got Tragedy Overload, and I got it bad.
      In psychology we talk about a phenomenon known as Emotional Flooding.  This is when a negative emotion - usually anxiety or anger, or both - becomes so intense that the brain just seems to jam.  This has probably happened to you during an important disagreement--or the person with whom you were arguing!  When someone is Flooded, they usually just stop talking.  They often avert their eyes, and if they do respond it tends to be monosyllabic, or just head gestures.
      This can be infuriating to the other party in the conversation.  We may accuse the Flooded individual of not caring, or giving up.  In fact, what science and technology are now able to reveal, the person is clamming up because they care a lot--too much, in fact.  The amount of stress hormone and associated neurotransmitters has sky-rocketed.  Their neurochemistry has reached a state where the brain cells can no longer effectively communicate logic, because the emotions are running too high.  When this happens, the Fight/Flight/Freeze center of the brain is triggered.  That shutting down is a form of Flight/Freeze.**

A simplistic visual, but accurate.  The Prefrontal Cortex is the rational, most useful problem-solving center of the brain.  (It's also the last to develop: the growth spurt starts around age 15 and wraps up ten years later.)  The Limbic System is fully developed when we're born, because our stress response is essential to survival.  So it can take over quickly and easily.

      Three days of horrific headlines, and I became Emotionally Flooded.  My brain just jammed.  There was just so much violence.  So much pointless, tragic stupidity!  I couldn't take it anymore.  I Froze, and then I Fled.  I fled by ignoring things.  I fled by pretending everything is fine, and there was nothing in the world more important than selecting french fries.
      I have the privilege of running away and ignoring.
      I caught myself.  I started talking to people about what happened.  More importantly, I listened.  I went to community meetings, and process groups.  And in thinking things through, I've come to two important conclusions:

1) These tragedies aren't going to stop happening.  Maybe the media will grow tired of reporting on them, or maybe the face of these tragedies will change again, but they won't stop.  And I don't want to be a part of the problem by ignoring them.  I'm a writer, and even if my audience is small, I want to do what I can to keep people thinking, and talking, and working to make things better.  Especially myself.

2) I do not want to do that in this blog.  I started Scribbles & Munch to be something fun and quirky in a stressful world.  Yes, racial injustice (and sexual injustice, and economic injustice) is rampant.  But I do not want it to define me, or my relationships.  I value the Black and Brown friends I have with whom I can discuss politics and power.  I also appreciate the laughter we share, and the recipes we swap, and the books we loan to one another.

      There needs to be room in my life for all of these things.  So, I am starting a second blog to focus on the issues of social injustice, and the actions we take - productive and destructive - that either perpetuate or attempt to correct those injustices.  I have already drafted a few entries, and I hope to have the blog up by the end of this week.
      I will still reference politics occasionally in Scribbled & Munch.  Even as a writer of fiction - or perhaps especially because I write fiction - I believe the values and messages relayed in my work are critical.
      To quote Tom Stoppard: "Words...can build bridges across incomprehension and chaos. [They are] sacred.  They deserve respect.  If you get the right ones in the right order, you can nudge the world a little."

So let's keep this conversation going.

*And then in France.  And then in Afghanistan.  And they just keep coming.

**The other option is Fight.  This can look like yelling, and saying things we regret.  It can turn to violence.  If that's something that happens to you or someone you care about, and that is NOT how you want to handle those situations, therapy can help.

      If you live in the U.S., and are acquainted with more than three people under the age of 40, you are probably aware of the Pokémon GO craze.  Or maybe not, because they've mysteriously disappeared, and aren't answering your calls or texts.  Now you know why: Pokémon GO.  It's a game on a smart phone.  And apparently, it turns people into zombies.

Borrowed from: http://crazzfiles.com/pokemon-for-a-brain-dead-culture-will-pokemon-go-be-used-to-catch-us-all/

      Ok, maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but not by much.

According to an article in The Washington Times, in the last few days a significant number of people have been playing Pokémon GO at the Holocaust Museum.  Which begs a lot of questions, more even more raised eyebrows.

      I'm not playing this game, because I've never been into Pokémon, and I don't own a smart phone.  (Waits for readers to recover from their faint of astonishment.)  But a number of my friends - and my therapy patients - are playing.  So I'm getting a contact buzz, so to speak.  I'm also getting emails from my agency directors specifically asking the therapists to get to the office early and catch the various critters in and around our building.
      Yes, that's right: a mental health therapy building has had strangers entering the lobby, trying to enter the rooms, and circling the building (which is posted with "no trespassing" signs) trying to catch imaginary critters on their phone. AND taking augmented reality photos of these spaces to show off which little goombas* they're catching.  This is pretty distressing for clients who have been, say, stalked in the past.  Or are seeking therapy without anybody knowing.  Or...fill in the blank.  In any event, I never thought I could get an official email at work instructing us to play video games for the sake of maintaining client confidentiality.  Then again, that's one of the reasons why I love being a psychotherapist: there's always something new.
      Nintendo has it's U.S. headquarters only a few miles away, in Redmond, WA.  I wonder how many Pokémon are wandering the halls in their building?  I vote we all take our phones there and find out!

Maybe there's a really awesome Pokémon gym in there!  Go, hoards of game zombies!  Go and swarm!

      Other news: today is National French Fry Day.  I've been debating long and hard over the best way to celebrate.  Steak cut?  Shoe string?  Curly fries?  Waffle cut?  If only I could catch 'em all!



*Yes, I know that goombas are from Mario Bros.  It's still Nintendo, and the it's a fun word.  So hush.

      Today, Camela and I went to go see the new Tarzan movie.  We both knew it wasn't going to be Oscar worthy, and that it would probably be guilty of several White-Male-as-Hero tropes.  But let's be perfectly honest: we went to go watch it for the scenery.  The lovely, lovely Scandinavian scenery.  And the movie delivered.

      But, first Camela and I had to resign ourselves to the inevitable damsel-in-distress plot.  Not that there isn't a place for such stories, it's just...well...there's a LOT of them.  This Tarzan wasn't as bad as it could have been; Jane came across as a competent and intelligent woman, with a great deal of courage.  But she was captured by the greedy villain (I'm sorry if this is a spoiler, but really, did you expect anything else?), and she did depend on him to save her.  It is - with ironic apologies to Disney - a tale as old as time.
      There are some classic tales in which a male is rescued by a female.  The two with which I am most familiar would be the old Scottish ballad of Tam Lin, and the immortal Hans Christian Anderson fairy tale of The Snow Queen.  As a child, I didn't care for either one of them, because they didn't seem romantic enough.  Now I love them, for the way they are written and the stories they tell.  My ideas about romance have changed as I have matured.  But I wish I had been exposed to a broader range of it as a child.*

A gorgeous illustration of the Ballad of Tam Lin by the talented artist Wylie Beckert.  There is a lot of symbolism in this tale, and how Janet holds on through Tam Lin's many transformations.

      You may have read some of my previous blog entries where I discuss this trick for writers to test their stories for "isms": mentally swap the genders/ethnicities/sexual orientations of their characters, and see how the story changes.  Sometimes we intentionally make our characters minorities to further a deeper meaning in our tales.  Sometimes, however, we're just lazy.  This is a good way to keep us accountable.
      So it's interesting to re-cast the movie I just watched with the genders swapped.  Consider: a badass wild girl falls for a scholarly boy, rescues him from danger over and over, and is finally persuaded to return to civilization.  Now her beloved is abducted as a way to trap her, and she kicks major ass (losing clothing along the way) across half a continent to get him back.**

Ok, that sounded absurd in my head, but now that I've written it out, I'm going, "Holy crap!  I would LOVE to read that!"

      Got your head wrapped around that one?  Right, now have it take place with the heroine and her love object as African, saving a continent of tribal white people.  Now add in the black female aristocratic villain.
      Now try keeping Tarzan a male, and turn Jane into John.
      It's a whole new story, right?  And one which evokes different feelings--and may appeal to a different audience.  Which tells us a lot about what we expect from the stories of real life.

And now, just for shits and giggles, you can take this pointless online quiz to figure out your Amazon Warrior Name.  I'd like to say that mine was bad-ass, but it actually meant "Shaggy Goat Skin."  I hope you have better luck than I.



*Not that there was much of a range to expose me to.  Yes that sentence is grammatically incorrect, but my point stands.

**For a split second, I thought I had just described the plot to Princess Mononoke, but then I realized I hadn't.  The guy ends up saving everybody in end, really.  Although it's still a bloody fabulous movie.

      You may have noticed that I don't do Facebook.
      In fact, outside of this blog and my plain email accounts, I don't do social media at all.  No Twitter, no Instagram, no nothing.  And holy $#!t, do I get some fascinating feedback on that decision.
      Most people who don't know me that well react with great surprise when I tell them I don't use Facebook.  Then I tend to get one of these follow ups:
      "You will.  Sooner or later, you'll get sucked in."
      "How do you keep in touch with people?"
      "You're so smart; I hate Facebook!  But I can't seem to function without it."
      "Why?"

       That last reaction is my favorite, but it's not easy to answer.  The fact is, there are a plethora of reasons I don't use social media - especially Facebook - and while none of them is huge, once they all come together they create a big, solid, undeniable heap.  If you're curious, I'll be happy to tell you some of them.

The cat does an intervention whenever I'm on the computer too much.  Note the subtle but unmistakable placement of the tail.  Hint, hint.

      But there is one more reason that I don't share very often, because I don't want to offend people: I'm pretty sure what we see on Facebook is about 90% fake.  It's the cyberspace equivalent of cleaning your entire house and putting out the good towels when you have company.  It's the same principle that spurs people to go on crazy diets and spend more money on hair and make-up right before their wedding.  It's the embodiment of our desire to look good in public.*
      I base this on two things: first, because this is what the vast majority of people tell me about their own Facebook use.  They confide in me that they feel pressure to have cool photos like so-and-so, or have awesome updates like that-guy.  Second, because I am a therapist.  I know - as well as any outsider can possibly know - the kinds of things that actually go on in people's lives, and in their minds.  And it is NOT all grinning Selfies.
      Which is why I love, love, LOVE this collaborative project between PostSecret and The Mighty.  Honest captions on Facebook photos.  What. A. Revelation.  Check out these examples:


      PLEASE, check this out.  Share this with others.  Be brave, and do it yourself.  If this was what social media could be - this tool for honestly, for being brave and encouraging others - then I would be behind it with zero hesitation.  But of course, it's just a tool.  It is what we make it.



*Don't misunderstand me, there is no judgement here.  Humans have an innate drive to be seen in a positive light by others--one could argue it's how civilization evolves, because we model and support positive behavior for one another.  But if I care enough about a person that I want to keep up with what's going on in their lives... then I want to know what's really going on in their lives.