Every now and again, when I have a larger project that needs completing, I adopt what I think of as the "Not Until" philosophy. You know the one, you've probably used it several times. It goes something like this:
ID: I want to watch TV!
SUPER-EGO: Not until you vacuum the stairs.
ID: I want to eat that walnut brownie!
SUPER-EGO: Not until you finish your dinner, including all the vegetables.
ID: I want to make Duck a l'Orange!
SUPER-EGO: Not until you've lost three more pounds, and finish using the ingredients you've already got in the fridge.
Ok, maybe that last one doesn't occur to most people, but it's popped into my head once or twice.* Clearly this is the unconsciously absorbed value set taught by my parental units. They did a good job--this has become the cornerstone of my self discipline (such as it is) and for the most part, it has served me very well. I maintain this kind of self-imposed responsibility because the vast majority of the time it enables me to live the lifestyle I want with no regrets, and decreased stress.
Except when it comes to the publication process. The enormous To-Do list before I send out my queries next month is...well...fucking enormous. And because of the enormity, the number of things I'm putting off until I finish is getting longer, and longer, and more frustrating!
ID: I want to catch up on my online comics!
SUPER-EGO: Not until you finish three versions of your synopsis, research all 47 of the agents you're going to query, compose an individualized letter for each, and triple-check your submission chapter formatting.
EGO [slams head repeatedly into wall]
This means my home is getting messy, my cat is getting disgruntled, my friends probably think I don't like them anymore, and my stress level is steadily increasing. Oh, and it means I haven't been updated my blog regularly. And unfortunately that will likely continue to be the case, because I've set a deadline for myself of September 21st. So I'm going to be rather absent (aside from weekly updates of our Shadows on the Sound podcast). But please, check back with me at the end of the month, when I will be cutting loose on the calories and the crazy rants!
And in the meantime, wish me luck...because I sure as heck need it....
*A week. For the last five years. Maybe I should just make it.
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