I don't own a television.  That used to be more remarkable back before every film, TV show, & random home movie of a cat* was available online, but I also don't have Netflix, Xfinity, or an Amazon Prime membership.  In other words, I don't stream shows.  I live under a rock.

I would SO live under this rock if I could!

      Ok, obviously I don't live under a rock, my cat would never tolerate it.  Also obviously, I do watch movies & shows, because I am up to speed on "Game of Thrones," I'm addicted to "Last Week Tonight," & I never get tired of binge-watching old episodes of "Good Eats."  I also watch movies the old fashioned way, in theaters!  This is particularly great for awesome flicks like "Spiderman: Homecoming," when action just needs to be viewed on the big screen.  But most of my video consumption is thanks to the patience & support of friends & family.  And it seems like lately, I've been watching way more stuff than usual, so I figured it was time I voiced some opinions on my blog.  Starting with:

      You can thank my friend & fellow author Michael Munz for providing a weekly opportunity to hang out & watch each new installment of this...interesting season.  I had to binge watch seasons 1 & 2 before this one got started.  I was charmed by the character of Dale Cooper, thrilled with all the food references, & intrigued by the suspenseful supernatural elements.  I was very ready for season 3; I wanted to learn Cooper's fate, & see more of the charming small town that supposedly exists within an hour drive my home.  Plus I'd heard that Trent Reznor was going to make an appearance!
      Well...if you've been reading the reviews, or watching the show yourself, you know that it's...um...very David Lynch-ish.  Let's just say that we celebrate every time an episode actually has significant plot content.

Gotta hand it to the mayor of Portland, he's a flexible actor!

       I won't pretend to have a background in film or any training in how to assess what makes it good or bad, but it seems to me that director David Lynch has changed in the last 25 years; you can say "matured," or "evolved," but essentially he's done what all human beings do, & he's just changed.  Which is fine.  But in this case, I think that means a significant shift from the mentality that led to his original vision.  The first season of "Twin Peaks" was dark, & weird, & confusing in ways that "Lost" only wishes it could have mimicked.  But it was also charming, funny, & oddly relatable.  And unfortunately, that's what this season seems to have lost for me.
      I'm still watching it.  The plot has finally progressed enough that I'm decently curious to see what happens.  But I swear, if Cooper doesn't come back to his full state of mind by the end of the series...well, for Munz's sake, I'm going to try really hard not to throw a cherry pie at his television, but it's going to be an effort!

      When I first read Ernest Cline's "Ready Player One," I was utterly enchanted.  It was one of those books that scratched a specific itch in the most perfect way possible.  It was a love song to my generation: the first generation of the modern nerd.  Because back then, video games were weird, fantasy & sci-fi movies had hand-made special effects, & playing RPG's got you beat up.**  To have the nostalgia of 80's nerdom revitalized & revered in a near-future sci-fi story was nothing short of genius.  I have my concerns that this might have been a one-shot wonder for Ernest Cline, but who cares?  It was a freaking awesome book!!!
      So when I heard it was going to be made into a movie, I got really, really excited!
      Until I saw the trailer.
      Ok, first & foremost, The Stacks look perfect.  Second impression: that is NOT what Wade Watts is supposed to look like!  Any true nerd who read the original book can testify how much it meant that the main character was a rather over-weight teen with less than perfect hygiene--because so many of us WERE.  So to see a ruggedly handsome young man instead?  *sigh*  Way to miss the point.
     Then: there's a car race?  Where the hell did that come from?  And did I see a warrior riding a giant scorpion killing Freddy Kruger?!  Does canon mean NOTHING to you, Steven Spielberg?!!?  And finally I heard a vicious rumor that they took the Zork reference out of the movie....oh wait.  I'm sorry, do you not know what Zork is?  Darn, if only we lived in an age where you could access an essentially limitless database of both accurate & opinionated information on just about freaking everything so you could look that up!!!
      What I'm getting at is that it seems pretty obvious they went to a lot of pains to make the video game aspects of this movie more relatable to a younger generation.  Typical Hollywood move.  And what sucks is that in this case, it almost defeats the entire point.  I get it if you need to take Peeves out of the "Harry Potter" films to streamline the story.  In fact, I'm totally Ok if you modernize some of the language in Shakespeare so that more people can understand it--Will would have done the same.  But a central core of this book was the nostalgia factor, which catered to a specific audience...most of whom probably make bank in the tech industry now, so frankly, catering to them is a pretty safe bet.  And I suspect that a lot of them are feeling let down.

      So screens haven't been living up to my expectations lately.  Well, except for "Game of Thrones."  The only thing wrong with that is that somehow they've managed to make an hour feel like only lasts 20 minutes!  That, & the last episode did a great job of turning me off to chicken pot pie, one of my favorite comfort foods.  Maybe they'll do that with every episode, & this can be the new diet fad.



*This one is still my favorite, partially because of the adorable noises the kitten makes while eating, & partially because of the facial expression of the adult cat in the background.

**Maybe that's still true in certain parts of the country, but here in Seattle if you don't play a table-top RPG, you are only two degrees of separation from someone who does.  Two degrees max.

      Due to a variety of complex circumstances, I have been living without my books for over a year.  None of my reference books.  None of my classics.  None of my favorite reads.  None of my cookbooks!  It has been a painful separation, the only silver lining of which is that I have re-familiarized myself with my fabulous local library system.  But there were literally nights when I would lie in bed & fantasize about being reunited with my personal library.
      Two weeks ago the dream was realized.  As is often the case, however, the reality was significantly different from the vision.  Specifically: due to circumstances outside of my control, I regained my books, but not my bookcase.

Do NOT leave home without it!!!

      You wouldn't think that's a big deal until you realize you a) have very little free cash with which to purchase a new bookcase, & b) don't have a means transporting one, anyway.  My preference is always to buy a sturdy piece of used furniture from Craigslist or a thrift store--but that required renting a truck, and when you're strapped for cash...yeah.  So after a week of pulling my hair & gnashing my teeth, I resigned myself to purchasing a new bookcase & assembling it.*  The price was right.  It even matches my other furniture, at least in color.  But it is significantly smaller than my previous shelving unit.
      So then, it came down to Z.D.'s Choice: which books do I purge?
      Aaaaauuuuugh, the agony of it!  Have you ever had to do this?  It's HARD!  I'd already gotten rid of some clothes & some kitchen stuff** & several knick-knacks of fair emotional value.  But now I had to pass on several members of my beloved literary family.  I could feel my heart chipping away with every selection.

Confession: I cry a little at the book burning scene in "Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade."  Every time.

      My only consolation was the psychological insight of it.  What I chose to keep gave me a deeper understanding of self.  Obviously the first to go were books I'd gotten on a whim or been gifted & enjoyed, but knew I would never read again.  Next came the handful that were falling apart--I figured if I find myself missing them, I can put them on my birthday list when I have more space.  Then it got harder.  I purged all of my coffee table books on the rationale that I don't have a coffee table.  I distracted myself by purging essentially all of my DVD's.
      Then I had to get down to it.  I wound up getting rid of a lot of my popular fiction, even though they were books I deeply enjoyed, because I know other people who copies I can borrow if I really want to re-read them.  Similarly, I passed on a number of books I know I can always find at the library.
      What I found myself keeping were rare books & classical literature: a selection of Japanese ghost stories given to me by an exchange student; a translation of Gilgamesh; a book of poetry written in opposition to the Iraq war.  I also found myself keeping a number of nonfiction books that have profoundly changed my perspective on the world: The Coming Plague by Laurie Garrett; How Does it Feel to Be a Problem, by Moustafa Bayoumi.  And what I realized was that I was keeping the books that promote the best in myself.  Which is a nice thing, really, to have such physical evidence of how I want to grow.  It birthed a rosebud of peace amid the thorns of my grief.
      Of course...I still have two copies of the complete Harry Potter series: one of hardcover books I got at the midnight release parties, then the paperbacks that I actually read.  You can translate that piece of my personality however you want.

Judge not, lest ye be judged, nerd.

      So...if it came down to it, do you know what you'd keep?



*Now I've assembled my own furniture on multiple occasions with perfect success, but this time I had generous help from a fabulous friend.  You know who you are, & this is a mad shout-out to your awesomeness!

**ME!  Getting rid of kitchen stuff!!!!  I think I just saw a Pot Belly sow soar gracefully past the Space Needle.