Serious Crunch: Thai Slaw

      Summer in neigh, and in the culinary countryside of America that means one thing, and one thing only: barbecue. (Or, for those of you who think the actual word looks too French: BBQ.)
      Americans take their barbecue very seriously. How seriously? If I had a dollar for every barbecue competition, for every "summer grilling" edition of the food magazines, for every BBQ special episode of a food show, for every guest grill expert on other TV shows, and for every TV show that is specifically about "grill masters" and their elaborate smokers, I would have enough money to buy a whole life-pastured cow and have it butchered just for me.
      Yum.
      Coming from the Pacific Northwest, I did not have a real understanding of barbecue for most of my life. Oh, we can grill up in that corner of the country - we can do things with a cedar plank and a fresh salmon fillet that will give you a deeper understanding of why ancient civilizations worshipped the ocean - but we are largely naive in the ways of true, slow-cooked, long-smoked meats. Tasting real pulled pork made this obvious. It took an episode of "Good Eats," however (Season 7, Episode 4, to be exact), to tell my WHY it was so different. Then I made a couple more forays into states like Tennessee, Texas and Louisiana, and it all came together into a delicious double epiphany: a) BBQ is proof that there is a heaven for livestock, and b) I have neither the skill nor the equipment to make real barbecue myself.
      But that's Ok, because somebody has to bring the side-dishes. America's Deep South may make unreasonably good pulled pork and brisket, but their side dishes tend to be...um...interesting. For example: who in their right mind serves macaroni and cheese as a vegetable? In addition to that surprising and unfortunately all-too-often pasty accompaniment, other traditional BBQ sides include some variation of baked beans (tasty, but easy to mess up), collard greens (tasty, but often with so much pork in it that it's even greasier than the BBQ itself), and coleslaw (pre-shredded brassicas from a bag with too much mayo). It has occurred to me that perhaps BBQ sides may follow the 1980's bridesmaid rule: make 'em ugly to increase the appeal of the main event. But just as I did my damnedest to allow my bridesmaids to be as gorgeous as they truly are, I also want to ensure that each dish I serve (or rather, bring to somebody else's BBQ because they have the skills & equipment) will knock your socks off. So in honor of summer, I here present one of my variations on a typical cook-out side. Make, take, and bask in the compliments.


Z.D.'s Thai-influenced Slaw

Dressing:
3 green onions, roots removed, roughly chopped
1/2 bunch fresh cilantro, roughly chopped
2 cloves garlic, roughly chopped
1 resh serrano chile, roughly chopped (use 2 if you like more heat)
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon turmeric
1 Tablespoon ground coriander
1 Cup mayonnaise, or vegan equivalent (use more if you like it thicker)

Veggies:
1 small head purple cabbage, quartered, cored, & finely shredded
3 carrots, peeled & julienned
4 large broccoli stems, peeled & julienned
1/2 Cup fresh pineapple, finely chopped (optional)
8 basil leaves, chiffonade (that's finely shredded for those of you who don't read Julia Child's cookbooks for fun)

- FOR THE DRESSING: If you have a good blender, toss in all the ingredients & blend until ridiculously smooth and a pretty green color. If using a food processor, toss in all ingredients except mayo, and process into a rough paste by using 2-3 second pulses and scraping down the sides. Then add the mayo, and process until the dressing is smooth, scraping sides as necessary. Dressing can be made up to four days ahead, just pour it into a jar and stick in your fridge (but it is best the day it is made).

- TO ASSEMBLE THE SLAW: Toss all the veggies into a large bowl (large bowl, mind you--this makes a lot), then add the pineapple if using. Toss until combined, then add in dressing to taste & toss to mix. Finally, garnish with shredded basil on the top (the basil will bruise if you toss it in, & gets brown if you use it too early--do this lovely & aromatic garnish at the end for best results).

If you - like me - are not a pit master, serve this next to grilled meats like Alton Brown's skirt steak (so easy, and so tasty), a fruit salad with a bit of fresh ginger, and finish the meal with something coconutty, like a cream pie or a tropical-flavored ice cream.

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