Well, I did it! I successfully created and baked croissant dough!
My conclusion: the French are insane.*
Let me assume most of you are unfamiliar with how croissants are made. And, before I go any further, I suggest you take a moment to revel in your ignorance. No, seriously, lay back and roll around in it like a happy puppy squirming on spring grass, because the luscious, buttery, painfully perfect flakiness that is a quality croissant is a beautiful thing. How DO they do it?! It's like a dense cobweb of tender bread wisps constructed within its own humid atmosphere of butter. (Ok, least poetic description ever...but I stand by its accuracy.) With its fragile, golden brown exterior of baked crispness, a true croissant never fails to satisfy. It is unlike any other pasty known to humankind. Like the nautilus shell, its beauty is part uniqueness, and part mystery.
And unlike a nautilus shell, part fabulously scrumptious.
So now that you've pondered and appreciated the unknown aspects of the croissant, let me tell you how it's done! It's all about layers. Layers of pastry and layers of butter. And these layers are created through repeated rolling, folding and chilling. I started this dough on Friday night, warming some whole milk and adding sugar, vanilla and yeast (yeay yeast!), then stirring in some flour and salt. Pop in the fridge and let it rise over night.
Saturday I created a butter block (a giant wad of butter beaten with a tad of flour - while still cold!) and sealed it within the dough. Then I rolled it out. The idea is to create a sort of butter-and-dough sandwich with a nice, even layer of butter. Who wants to take bets I got that right the first time? Aaaand you all lost your money, my butter tried vey hard - and succeeded - to break into shards and escape the dough encasement. It didn't get melty and ooze out, however, so I was spared that misfortune. Once rolled out, fold over a few times and chill 30 min. Then remove and let sit at room temp for 15 min. Then roll and fold. Repeat. Repeat again. How much time has gone by since we started this nonsense? Oh yeah, FOUR FREAKING HOURS, not including the over night rise and prep the day before. By this time, if you're like me, you've entered the grim stage of baking. The this-bloody-stupid-pastry-had-better-f@$%!*&-turn-out-because-I-damn-well-could've-learned-how-to-perform-life-saving-surgery-in-the-time-this-has-taken stage. When the dough was finished, I opted for a toasted almond cream filling and made a Kringle, which I then stuck in the fridge until I baked it this morning.
And how did it turn out? Scrump-diddily-umptious!
I won't say it was as pretty as I had hoped, but my first-time desserts never do, it takes practice to make them as lovely looking as they taste. But the pastry was buttery, flaky, tender, and delicious! Check all four boxes and give the girl a passing grade, she successfully made CROISSANT pastry!
My husband and I probably ate way more than was good for us for breakfast, and I'm already planning on having another slice for tea. I'm at a point in the story I'm writing where my main character leaves the wild west and returns to mid-Victorian era Boston, so tea and pastry will be an appropriate writing-time snack. But that's another blog post, I suppose. I will simply bid you all happy brunch, and hope your next culinary endeavor meets with similar (or superior) success!
*Insanely AWESOME!!!
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