Scribbles & Munch

      Due to a variety of complex circumstances, I have been living without my books for over a year.  None of my reference books.  None of my classics.  None of my favorite reads.  None of my cookbooks!  It has been a painful separation, the only silver lining of which is that I have re-familiarized myself with my fabulous local library system.  But there were literally nights when I would lie in bed & fantasize about being reunited with my personal library.
      Two weeks ago the dream was realized.  As is often the case, however, the reality was significantly different from the vision.  Specifically: due to circumstances outside of my control, I regained my books, but not my bookcase.

Do NOT leave home without it!!!

      You wouldn't think that's a big deal until you realize you a) have very little free cash with which to purchase a new bookcase, & b) don't have a means transporting one, anyway.  My preference is always to buy a sturdy piece of used furniture from Craigslist or a thrift store--but that required renting a truck, and when you're strapped for cash...yeah.  So after a week of pulling my hair & gnashing my teeth, I resigned myself to purchasing a new bookcase & assembling it.*  The price was right.  It even matches my other furniture, at least in color.  But it is significantly smaller than my previous shelving unit.
      So then, it came down to Z.D.'s Choice: which books do I purge?
      Aaaaauuuuugh, the agony of it!  Have you ever had to do this?  It's HARD!  I'd already gotten rid of some clothes & some kitchen stuff** & several knick-knacks of fair emotional value.  But now I had to pass on several members of my beloved literary family.  I could feel my heart chipping away with every selection.

Confession: I cry a little at the book burning scene in "Indiana Jones & The Last Crusade."  Every time.

      My only consolation was the psychological insight of it.  What I chose to keep gave me a deeper understanding of self.  Obviously the first to go were books I'd gotten on a whim or been gifted & enjoyed, but knew I would never read again.  Next came the handful that were falling apart--I figured if I find myself missing them, I can put them on my birthday list when I have more space.  Then it got harder.  I purged all of my coffee table books on the rationale that I don't have a coffee table.  I distracted myself by purging essentially all of my DVD's.
      Then I had to get down to it.  I wound up getting rid of a lot of my popular fiction, even though they were books I deeply enjoyed, because I know other people who copies I can borrow if I really want to re-read them.  Similarly, I passed on a number of books I know I can always find at the library.
      What I found myself keeping were rare books & classical literature: a selection of Japanese ghost stories given to me by an exchange student; a translation of Gilgamesh; a book of poetry written in opposition to the Iraq war.  I also found myself keeping a number of nonfiction books that have profoundly changed my perspective on the world: The Coming Plague by Laurie Garrett; How Does it Feel to Be a Problem, by Moustafa Bayoumi.  And what I realized was that I was keeping the books that promote the best in myself.  Which is a nice thing, really, to have such physical evidence of how I want to grow.  It birthed a rosebud of peace amid the thorns of my grief.
      Of course...I still have two copies of the complete Harry Potter series: one of hardcover books I got at the midnight release parties, then the paperbacks that I actually read.  You can translate that piece of my personality however you want.

Judge not, lest ye be judged, nerd.

      So...if it came down to it, do you know what you'd keep?



*Now I've assembled my own furniture on multiple occasions with perfect success, but this time I had generous help from a fabulous friend.  You know who you are, & this is a mad shout-out to your awesomeness!

**ME!  Getting rid of kitchen stuff!!!!  I think I just saw a Pot Belly sow soar gracefully past the Space Needle.